Helping your Child Find His Voice in Response to Aggression from Other Child

As a good parent, you would always want your child to stay away from aggression. So, you will try to be compassionate at home and you are definitely going to teach your child how to remain peaceful with the other children. But, your child’s peers may not be as peaceful as your child is. Sometimes, your child may face some aggression form the other child or children. If your kid is a grown up enough to spend his time at school, he may be able to find a way to deal with the aggression from other kids. But your 3-year old may not be able to find a way out.

This situation normally happens when you take your child to the nearby park. So, let’s suppose there is another child who wants to play in the same puddle your child wants to play in. And that other child is the aggressive one. In this scenario, your role becomes important because you have to be there not only to protect your child from aggression but you will also have to make sure that you are not acting against what you teach to your child about being peaceful and unaggressive.

Response to the other child

If the other child aggressively reaches out to your child and demand him to leave the puddle, you can reach out to that child and say, “You sound mad! Are you saying that you don’t want other kids playing in the puddles?

Now, getting engaged with someone mad you don’t know is not something you would want. But some people only want their stance acknowledged. If you acknowledge the behavior and feelings of that child with compassion, you are more like to see him/her leaving the place without arguing.

Give some reassurance to your child

If the other child refuses to leave, you can turn to your child and say, “She’s mad that we’re playing in the puddle…. Don’t worry… I will keep everyone safe….. There are plenty of puddles for everyone.

It can actually be good if other child overhears this statement from you. This way, that child will rethink about the aggression he/she is at the mercy of.

When other child starts saying something inappropriate

Other child might start teasing your child using inappropriate words. In that scenario, you need to get closer to your child and intervene in a strong voice in order to restate the limits.

Encourage your child to find his voice

The aggressive child may start pushing or grabbing. In that scenario, you can encourage your child to say something to the other child without acting like it’s an emergency. Gently ask your child to say to other child to stay away or stop pushing.

Appeal to the adult who accompanies the aggressive child

This is the last thing you want to do, but if the other child is not willing to reduce aggression, you can approach the adult who accompanies the child. You need to be respectful while appealing. You can say things like this, “It sounds like your girl loves these puddles and needs a puddle of her own! Our family is using this puddle right now. We’ll be happy to let her have this puddle once we’re done with it.