3 Steps To Turn Him Into The Confident Man You Desire

In this article dating coach Christopher Isaac reveals 3 steps you need to take in order to help your boyfriend reach his potential.

There is nothing more frustrating than seeing a person you care for not reach their potential in life. Settling for the status quo. Perhaps he has limiting beliefs of his own, perhaps he has a bad habit of self-sabotaging and doesn’t realize it. Whatever the case is, you need to be on your game if you really care about this man and want to help him succeed.

For that reason, I’m going to give you 3 crucial steps to help you turn the love of your life into the confidant man you desire.

Ready?

Reward Compliance and Trust –

This step is the foundation for what you are trying to accomplish. Have you ever trained a dog or seen how a well-trained dog behaves? That dog can do just about anything with the right trainer. Here’s the thing, our brain functions almost exactly like a dogs when it comes to learning “new tricks,” or in his case new habits. Because the road to success is paved with the right habits. I wish I could say it were as easy as offering Scooby snacks every step of the way, but it’s not. When he takes an action of trust for you and your relationship reward him (immediately!). Like giving a dog a treat for obeying a command; Reward the desired action.

It can be as simple as cheering him on and making him feel like a man, or going a step higher and giving him a massage and verbally expressing how proud of him you are. When he does something that makes you light up, he’s going to want to do it over and over again.

Have Standards –

Since you’re reading this article and committing to improving your partner, I think it’s fair to say that you value growth and dedication. These are qualities you need to instill in your man in order to help him achieve his potential. That being said, when you have your own standards for success you model for him what he needs to do in order to pursue his dreams — because every confidant man has dreams he actively pursues. It’s a big part of building self-esteem.

Don’t compromise your standards for him out of convenience either. In other words, don’t put a hold on your habits and routines for success just because he wants you to. It’s your ritual for success. He needs his own rituals and by not compromising yours you’re teaching him what your standards are. What’s so powerful about this is that if he wants to keep up with you and your lifestyle he is going to need to develop rituals of success on his own. You can help him with that of course. Call it a team building effort.

Feed the Boy –

Every human being has their issues, insecurities, limiting beliefs, and emotional baggage. For him these are all things that are keeping him from being the man you know he can be. So how do you make the man inside of him come out? The answer is: By feeding the boy that he is and helping him grow into the man he can be. You can’t just expect it out of him, and suddenly all of life’s issues that have held him back will disappear. He needs to conquer fears and obstacles. He needs the mental strength and fortitude it requires. Be his beacon of light when he can’t see it. Point it out and don’t let him feed the cynical boy inside. Feed the optimistic man who can conquer anything and eventually he will be the man who conquers anything.

Plant seeds in his mind of a wonderful future you share with each other and give him a future to visualize and work towards. Describe positive qualities and place those qualities on him. For example, “You know what I love about you… when you say you’re going to do something, you do it! I really value that quality in you!” Of course there are infinite examples I could give you of this, but you get the idea.

Just remember that this whole process takes time. Growth is often slow, but as long as it is consistent he will become the man you desire. Millimeters of success everyday may not seem like much, hell it may be entirely unnoticeable for days or even weeks, but over the course of months and years it can make mountains. Be his rock and his cheerleader for success. Show him the good in everything and teach him to see it for himself. Teach him to find the good when his mind wants to revert back to the cynical boy he used to be.

It takes strength to control your mindset. It’s like building a muscle. If you’ve never used your legs a day in your life you can’t expect to run a marathon. So reward every him for every step of the way. Remember, think “Scooby Snacks.”

With Love,

Christopher Isaac

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