5 Signs you’re dating a toxic person
Britney Spears had some toxicity in her life and she turned it into a hit song; however, not all of us are quite so lucky. You may have been speaking with a friend when she says something along the lines of, “I just can’t be with him anymore. His presence was just so toxic.” You nod like you understand, but what does that mean? What makes someone a toxic person? Dating expert Christopher Isaac has the answers:
Toxic People Want to Hurt You
I’m not talking about hitting you, although that is possible. I’m talking about what he says during small arguments. If the two of you begin to argue about the laundry, watch your partner’s words. If he says something like, “I have to do the laundry from now on, because apparently you aren’t smart enough to wash my clothes correctly,” watch your step. This is a pretty obvious example, but it may not always be so cut-and-dry. Watch the arguments you have and see how they turn. If your partner seeks to insult you or belittle you during a fight instead of discussing possible solutions, you may be dating a toxic person.
Toxic People Make You the One at Fault
So what if he forgot your dinner plans with your parents and got wasted beforehand? It wouldn’t have been a problem if you would have scheduled the dinner the night he asked you to. No matter whose fault it is, a toxic person will spin the situation to make it seem like the whole thing is your fault. You can be a strong person, but a toxic person will have a way of making you think to yourself, “wow, this is my fault.” You aren’t alone, because toxic people are very talented at manipulation. Unfortunately, the closeness you feel to your partner is also what gives him this power over you. Take the blame when it’s truly yours, but beware of situations where he can turn on you.
Toxic People Hate Seeing You Succeed
Your partner won’t openly say that the new promotion you got at work makes him feel jealous and insecure, but he will likely act in a way that reflects that. Watch what happens when something positive happens in your life. Toxic people love seeing you at your weakest and lowest, which is why they often feel threatened when your life is going through a high point. Why? Because this means you are succeeding independently. You don’t need them like they want you to. Healthy relationships love encouraging the other to succeed; toxic ones are a breeding ground for jealousy. You can tell that he has a toxic level of jealousy if he acts more aggressively towards you or pulls away completely when your life is going well.
Toxic People LOVE Seeing You Hurt
He acted rudely towards you, told you that you messed up, and now you are crying. While upsetting you to the point of tears may not have been his initial goal, you can bet he will derive pleasure from it. When your self-esteem has broken down enough to the point where you need his affection to pick you back up, he has won. Toxic people want to bring out your biggest insecurities so that they can be the ones to tell you that you are still loveable — that they love you even though you are terrible at the laundry, and that it takes a saint to love you through your awful washing skills.
Toxic People are Constantly Ready for Battle
No matter what you say, you are attacking him. If you find yourself carefully choosing your words ahead of time and he still reacts negatively, he may be a toxic person. The idea of starting a discussion by saying, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I felt hurt when you made a joke at my expense in front of my friends” should not scare you. If you are afraid his response will be yelling, telling you that it was your fault, or ignoring you for days at a time, his behavior is toxic. Every confrontation will turn into a full-on attack in his mind.
What to Do?
Toxic people are much more present than we would all like to think, and they don’t just come in the form of romantic relationships. They can be friends, family, or anyone you have consistent interactions with. Be aware of the behavior of those around you, as well as your own behavior. Do you exhibit any of these qualities? If so, it may be time to adjust your thinking.
P.S. If you would like to learn more about toxic behavior and how to handle it, be sure to contact dating expert Christopher Isaac. Reach out today and see how we can help you! Check back on our blog regularly for even more dating advice for women.
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