fear of letting go

It is in my nature to try to control as much as I can in my life and other people’s lives. It is something that I learned to do as a way to protect myself. To reclaim myself back.

Something I recently learned was that life is going to happen regardless of how much control we try to take. Have you ever been in a situation where you want something to work out so badly, and you continuously try to force it to work out? You sit there and have this elated feeling surrounding how this WILL work this time, with these small changes!! Woo!!! And then to completely fall on your ass a little bit after, realizing that this is not something you can force. It just simply isn’t going to work for you anymore.

This is not a bad thing. It doesn’t have to be. This is actually a sign that you are growing, and expanding beyond who you were when you started this specific situation.

And let’s be honest, any change is hard. It is REALLY hard. But, forcing something that no longer resonates with you, is worse.

When you are continuing a connection like this whether it is a relationship, friendship, occupation, or living situation, it is so easy to find the small bits of “good things” surrounding why you should stay.

What if? What if? What if? What if?

Those small bits are great, they are special, and we should honor them, but we should also realize the bigger picture. You are unhappy MOST of the time. You are not connected with this situation in front of you anymore. We can never go back in time to how things were.

We can fight this. I fought this hard in my current situation. It is scary as hell. Especially if this has been something consistent in your life for many years. It is your normal. But, if your normal starts to make you feel miserable, not yourself, and unaligned, then it’s time to transition out.

Which is scary AF. Sit in that fear. Sit in that anxiety. Let yourself feel it. It is incredibly valid.

Change is hard, but it is inevitable. Change is happening every second of everyday. You can never, ever outrun change. Why not embrace it? Why not change your perspective around it? A lot of the time folks think that change is going to happen in a split second. Which, in some cases, this does happen, but not always. Change is transition, and transitions take patience, because they are not always quick and clean.

Ride the river of transition. Get in your kayak and just be. Go with the flow. Get through the rough patches, and find peace in the tranquil.

Change invites opportunity. Even through the most horrible situations that you are having trouble letting go of, there’s room for opportunity to plant itself and grow.

To those who are in a situation where they know they need to let go of. To those who are scared shitless like me. To those who keep trying to force it, but know deep down, everything you try isn’t working.

I see you.

I am you.

You are not alone.

We need to learn to trust ourselves. Trust that the universe will make sure all of our changes will move us closer to where we need to be now. Trust that everything is and will be okay. Trust that intuition of yours. Trust your gut reactions to things.

You are worth it.

Also, the situation you are in right now that you fear letting go, DOESN’T have to be negative. It DOESN’T have to be an abusive relationship. It DOESN’T have to be a toxic workplace or friend.

Everything that is in our life is there for a reason. And, sometimes we outgrow the things and people we love. We have learned our lessons from these experiences, and we are ready for what is next. This is something that is hard to conceptualize on the surface, but it is real.

Trust in the process. Learn to realize that letting go will not make your life crumble around you. You will survive this. Everything will be okay.

Let.

Go.

(When you are ready ;) No need to rush, friend)