The Ultimate Fucking Machine Guide

Ladies and anally-inclined gentlemen, let me introduce you to your new favorite sex toy: the fucking machine.

Built to imitate real penetrative sex, fucking machines (also known as sex machines) eliminate the need for a man in your life. They’re not just as good as the real thing; they’re better. They’re capable of outperforming any mere mortal when it comes to penetrative action.

And don’t even get me started on sex toys. These powerful, motorized machines will make your regular old dildos, and magic wands look like useless pieces of plastic. Seriously.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of using one yet, you’ve been missing out.

In this ultimate guide, we’re going to be telling you everything you need to know about sex machines, including what they are, how they work, and how to use one.

We’ll also be sharing a complete buyer’s guide to help you to find the best machine for your needs. Now, let’s get started!

What Is A Fucking Machine?

A fucking machine is basically a motorized dildo. It uses a motor to thrust, vibrate, or rotate an attached sex toy in order to penetrate you, stimulate your clit, and bring you to orgasm.

There are many different kinds of sex machines on the market, but most of them will be a lot bigger than the sex toys you might already own on account of the motor. As such, they tend to be more expensive, less discreet, and a heck of a lot more powerful. Many of them have interchangeable attachments so you can add your own sex toys.

We’ll cover the different types of sex machines available and the differences between them later on. But first, let’s look at how they work.

How It Works

Different machines use different mechanisms to create the movement. In most cases, the motor is attached to a flywheel, which is, in turn, attached to a thrust rod.

The flywheel spins to translate the rotational movement of the motor into linear motion, which makes the thrust rod move back and forth in a straight line. A dildo is attached to the thrust rod to penetrate the user with each thrust.

You can usually change the depth and speed of the thrust by altering the power and radius of the flywheel arm.

While most machines use flywheels, others at the higher end of the market use linear motors to control the thrust directly. This means they can eliminate the need for flywheels and thus are more compact and lightweight.

Benefits of Sex Machines

So what makes sex machines so great? They’re so expensive, are they really that much better than smaller handheld sex toys?

Well, I’m glad you asked. Here are some of the main benefits that make these machines worth the extra investment.

Hands-free

You’re in control of the thrusting when you’re using a dildo or vibrator, which means your hands are tied up. A sex machine takes care of that for you so that you can use them to explore your body, rub your clit, tweak your nipples, or anything else you want to do with them.

Another advantage of going hands-free is that it’s easier. Do your arms tend to get tired after a few minutes of using a dildo? I bet they do. Nobody needs that, am I right? Fortunately, it isn’t a problem with a sex machine.

Realism

Using a sex machine adds a whole new element of realism to your self-love sessions. It gives you the sensation of actually being fucked by someone.

A personal dildo can’t do that. No matter how great your imagination is, you’re just too aware that you’re in control.

Tailored Pleasure

I said at the start of this guide that a sex machine was better than the real deal, and I wasn’t lying. Don’t get me wrong, sex with a partner is great, but you don’t have the same level of control as you do with a sex machine.

Using a sex machine lets you dictate exactly how you like it. It’s like having a partner that knows exactly how to push all the right buttons to make your toes curl, and gets it right every single time. All you have to do is tell it how you want it. If you buy the right machine, you can control everything from the pressure and speed to the thrusting style, and even more.

Sexual Awareness and Exploration

I’m a big fan of masturbation. It allows us to explore our bodies, learn more about our likes and dislikes, and generally improve our sexual awareness. Using a sex machine is even better for this as it mimics real penetrative sex.

While using it, you’ll learn how you like to be penetrated, which will help you to get more pleasure from sex. You’ll find out what turns you on and be able to communicate that to your future sexual partners.

Partner Play

Speaking of partners, you can use your sex machine with them too. Some couples get off on watching their partners use a sex machine. It’s a great way to try something new and bring some added excitement into the bedroom.

There are a few other reasons you might want to use it with your partner too. For example, if he suffers from severe erectile dysfunction or another medical condition that makes him unable to perform, it can provide a way for you to work around it and be intimate together. Note: Cock rings and penis pumps can help with erectile dysfunction too.

It’s also great for couples in long-distance relationships. Using a machine while your partner watches over video chat beats phone sex by a long shot.

No Partner Required

Another great thing about sex machines is that it eliminates the need for a partner entirely. If you like sex, but you don’t want the hassle that comes with a relationship or the risk that comes with NSA sex, a sex machine is your new best friend.

You can have a realistic sexual experience with no risk whatsoever of STDs, pregnancy, or heartache.

Male Masturbation

Guys can place a male masturbator on the end of a sex machine for awesome hands-free masturbation. The machine will push and pull the masturbator around your shaft for incredible, realistic stimulation.

BDSM play

Sex machines can make great bondage toys. If you and your partner are both into BDSM, one of you could, for example, tie the other up and use the sex machine to penetrate them (with consent, obviously). Just make sure you establish a safeword beforehand.

Improved Speed and Power

Sex machines are just another example of how robots are making us all redundant. Sex machines are capable of thrusting faster and more powerfully than real guys ever could. As such, you can use them to really broaden your sexual horizons and experience sensations you just couldn’t recreate with a partner.

Practice

A final benefit of these machines is that it gives you a great way to practice. If you’re inexperienced, nervous, or lacking in confidence in the bedroom, you can practice with a sex machine to gain confidence and experience before you move onto the real thing.

Disadvantages of Sex Machines

All that being said, sex machines aren’t perfect. There are a few drawbacks to using them too. Here are the main disadvantages you should know about:

• Less discreet — sex machines are big, heavy, and hard to disguise. If anyone were to walk into your bedroom and see it, you’d have a hard time explaining what the giant metal box with the attached dildo was.
• Expensive — sex machines tend to be much more expensive than handheld personal toys like dildos and vibrators
• Noisy — some machines can be very loud, which might be problematic if you share a home with roommates.
• Less control — while you might be able to change the settings of your sex machine, you’re still giving up some control. You have to put your trust in the machine, whereas with a handheld personal toy like a dildo, you have full control over the action.
• Higher risk — a machine from a reputable brand should be very safe, but it’s still machinery at the end of the day. There’s no doubt that a machine is more likely to encounter faults, electrical problems, and other safety risks than non-mechanical toys.

Different Types of Sex Machines

We can broadly subcategorize sex machines into a few different brackets. Here are the different main types you need to know about.

Handheld

Handheld sex machines are exactly what it says on the tin. They’re small, usually battery-powered, thrusting dildos that you can hold in the palm of your hand. The advantage of this, of course, is that it’s smaller and therefore more discreet and portable.

However, that comes at a cost. Because they’re so small, they don’t have the same kind of motor power as full-sized sex machines and won’t be able to match the same speeds. If you clamp down with your PC muscles, you can usually bring the thrusting to a halt.

The other downside is that the stroke length (how far it thrusts in and out) might not be as big as with full-size machines, which can make it a little less satisfying and realist.

Thrusting machines

Thrusting machines (or ‘thrusters’) are probably what most people think of when they hear ‘sex machine.’ They’re a type of sex machine that thrusts the penetrative attachment backward and forward, much like a real male partner.

The user typically positions his/herself in front of the thrusting rod, sets the desired penetration depth and other settings, and lets the machine get to work. Full-size thrusting machines usually deliver plenty of power and have rods with adjustable attachments, so you can swap and change your dildo easily.

Saddle machines

Unlike thrusting machines, saddle machines are built to be mounted. They typically have a saddle/base with an insertable attachment on top that you can ‘ride’ as if you were in a cowgirl position.

Saddle machines don’t usually thrust either. Instead, the attachment might twirl or vibrate to stimulate your clitoris or g-spot. Again, they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and some may have other additional functions. For example, some might have textured surfaces that stimulate your clitoris while you ride it.

Hybrid

Some sex machines are a mixture of the two aforementioned types. These hybrid machines might thrust and vibrate, allowing you to tailor your experience depending on what mood you’re in.

Anal

Anal sex machines are — yep, you guessed it — sex machines designed for anal masturbation. They might be anal-only or capable of double-penetration. You should be able to find both thrusting and saddle versions of anal sex machines.

Sex Machine Buyer’s Guide

Alright, now that the basics are all covered, let’s talk about how to find a machine that meets your needs. I’ve put together a detailed buyer’s guide with a breakdown of all the main factors you should consider below.

Type of Sex Machines

First off, choose what type of sex machine you’re looking for (i.e., handheld vs. hands-free, saddle vs. thrusting, etc.). This will help you to narrow down the huge pool of products on the market so that it’s easier to sort through your options.

Speed

Speed is one of the most important factors to look at when evaluating a machine. We often measure the speed of a sex machine in terms of thrusts per second. A lot of machines are capable of at least 4 thrusts per second, and the most powerful models might be capable of as much as 10 thrusts per second.

To put that into perspective, the average number of thrusts a guy performs in bed is reported to be around 48 per minute, so less than once per second. Like I said earlier, sex machines are capable of much more than mere mortals.

Look for a machine capable of the fastest speeds you can afford. Most of the time, you probably won’t want to go higher than 4 thrusts per second anyway, but it’s nice to have the option.

Motor Power

The motor power (torque output) is another key factor to consider. It determines how ‘powerful’ the thrusts will be. This matters because, believe it or not; it actually takes a lot of force to drive a dildo in and out of your vagina.

If you’re in the middle of an orgasm and your vagina muscles start to contract, but your sex machine’s motor is weak, it can stall the thrusting completely and ruin your orgasm. The more power, the better.

Stroke Length / Penetration Depth

This refers to how deep each thrust is. Ideally, you’ll want to choose a machine that has a high maximum penetration depth that you can adjust to fit your needs. And speaking of adjustments…

Adjustability

Adjustability is vital. The more adjustable your sex machine is, the more fun you’ll be able to get out of it. Look for a machine that allows you to control as many variables as possible. At a minimum, you’ll want to be able to control the thrusting speed.

Ideally, you might be able to control the power, vibration/thrusting pattern, penetration depth, and more. And if your machine lets you swap out the dildo for other attachments, that’s even better.

Control

Different sex machines have different control mechanisms. For example, some come with a wired remote, whereas others have a wireless remote. Think about how this might limit the way you can use the machine in practice and factor that into your decision.

Assembly

On a practical note, think about the assembly requirements. Some sex machines might come pre-assembled and ready to use, others might require you to put it together yourself. If you’re not handy with tools, you’ll probably be better off choosing one that is easy to assemble.

The best way to figure out how easy/difficult it is to assemble is to look at what other reviewers have said.

Material

The part of the machine that actually goes inside you (i.e., the penetrative attachment, typically a dildo) should be made of a body-safe material like medical-grade silicone. The material of the rest of the machine doesn’t matter as much, as long as it’s comfortable and durable.

Build quality/durability

Naturally, you should try to choose a sex machine that’s well made and durable. The price is a good indication of this. The higher the price tag, the better the build quality is likely to be. The warranty period is worth looking at too.

Manufacturers are more likely to offer a longer warranty period if they’re confident that they’ve made something durable. You might want to avoid any sex machine with a price tag that seems too good to be true or a poor warranty cover.

Size/Portability

Another practical consideration to make is regarding the size of the machine. Think about how much space you have to use and store your sex machine and check the product dimensions to make sure it’ll fit. Smaller sex machines are more portable and easy to hide.

The size of the dildo attachment matters too, but less so, as you can usually change it out with one of your own if you’re unhappy with the size.

Weight

Weight is important too, and lighter isn’t necessarily better. If you’re purchasing a full-size thrusting sex machine and you plan on using it with a large toy, I’d actually recommend getting a heavier machine.

Why? One word: recoil. If the machine is too light compared to the toy, the thrust can actually cause the machine to move backward, rather than the dildo forward.

Comfort

You want to be as comfy as possible when you’re pleasuring yourself, right? So look for a machine that’s as comfortable as possible. This is especially important for saddle machines as you’ll be perching your ass directly on top of them. Think about the materials used and how they might feel against your skin.

Price

And finally, think about the price. I’d suggest setting yourself a budget and only looking at products within your price range so you don’t get excited about something you can’t afford.

Also, expect to spend at least upwards of $200 for a mid-range machine. Anything less than that is pretty great value for money. I’d recommend avoiding anything that’s less than $30 or so.

How To Use a Sex Machine

Below, we’ve put together some general guidelines on how to use a sex machine for maximum pleasure. Just follow the steps below!

Important note: specific machines have different usage instructions, and you should always refer to your manufacturer’s guidelines for instructions for your exact product, making sure to adhere to all relevant safety advice. Please also familiarize yourself with the safety tips below before use.

Step 1: Find a Suitable Play Space

The first thing you’ll need to do is find a suitable place to set up your machine. You need to think about three things here: safety, practicality, and stability.

Some sex machines are designed to be stuck on a surface like a table; others might be freestanding. Make sure that wherever you put it, it’s totally secure and not likely to wobble around. Don’t be tempted to put it on your mattress, as it could easily wobble and fall over, thus ruining your playtime.

On a practical note, it needs to be in a place where you can easily position yourself in front of it at the right angle for penetration. You might want to put it on the floor or a table next to your bed or sofa, for example. It also needs to be close enough to a power outlet that you can plug it in.

In terms of safety, it shouldn’t be near anything wet or in a room full of moisture. Do NOT use it in the bathtub or shower unless it’s waterproof and recommended by your product manufacturer.

Step 2: Set Up the Machine

Next, it’s time to set up your machine. I can’t give any specific advice here as every sex machine is different — just follow your manufacturer’s guidelines.

However, I do have some general advice worth following:

• Clamp it down — this will help to prevent recoil and stop the machine from moving backward. If you don’t have anything to clamp it down with, you can also use your feet.
• Put down a rubber mat underneath the machine — this will help to mute the noise the machine makes as the motor rumbles against the floor.
• Swap out the attachment — often, the attachment that comes with the machine is poor quality. Don’t be afraid to swap it out to an attachment from your own personal sex toy collection, as long as it’s compatible.

Step 3: Test the Controls

If this is your first time using the machine, you should test the controls before you get on the receiving end of it. Grab the remote, switch it on, and play around with the settings to see how it all works. It’s better to figure this all out now than to have to pause mid-masturbation-session to consult the manual, trust me!

This also works as a kind of preliminary safety test. You’ll be able to make sure it’s sturdy and working as expected.

Step 4: Get In Position

Next, get in position. There are plenty of awesome sex positions that work great with machines, so feel free to experiment. If you’re new to this, I’d recommend either lying flat on your back or good ol’ doggy style. Another option is to lie facedown on the bed with the machine angled down towards you to target your G-spot nicely.

Step 5: Use Plenty of Lube

Lube is pretty essential here. Once you’re in position, grab your favorite lube and lather it on both the attachment and your vagina or anus, depending on which hole the goal is.

Keeping everything nice and slippery will minimize your risk of friction burns and protect your body from injury, which is especially important when you’re working with a powerful machine like this. It’ll also feel better for you.

The rule is to never use like for like lube and sex toy materials together. In other words, if you’re using a silicone attachment on your sex machine, don’t use silicone-based lubes. This can damage your toy and pose a hygiene risk. Water-based lubes are usually a safe bet.

Step 6: Start Experimenting

Ok, you’re all set. Get that thing fired up and prepare for it to blow your mind. I’d recommend starting nice and slow and working your way up to higher speeds and deeper penetration when you’re ready.

Remember to use this as an opportunity to experiment with new things and find out what works best for you. Enjoy your toe-curling orgasms!

Safety Tips

It’s important to remember that sex machines are still machines. They have electrical components and can be hazardous, so you need to follow safety precautions. Here are a few important safety tips:

• Never use your machine near water — unless you’re certain that yours is waterproof, don’t risk it.
• Buy from a reputable brand and seller — this will minimize your risk of getting faulty, unsafe products.
• Start with lower settings — slower speeds and less powerful and deep thrusts are safer in the beginning while you’re getting used to your machine.
• Stop using it if you experience any pain or discomfort — this should be obvious.
• Be aware of any potential faults or damage — if your machine gets damaged, it could lead to electrical problems or faults that pose a risk to your safety. Keep an eye out for any damage and cease using it if you spot any.

Sex Machine Care & Maintenance

Here are a few care and maintenance tips that will help to increase the lifespan of your sex machine.

• Use a cover if possible — some machines are compatible with fluid-proof covers that protect them from lube and bodily fluids. This can help to make clean up easier for you, as well as protect your machine.
• Store the machine properly — make sure your machine is completely dry before you put it away and store it somewhere cool, clean, dry, and away from extreme temperatures. This will help to protect the electronics from damage.
• Store the attachments separately — sex toys can react with and damage each other, depending on what materials they’re made from. To avoid this, make sure you store them separately.
• Sanitize your machine before and after use — you can use warm water and soap or a specially-formulated sex toy cleaner. Practicing good hygiene like this will help you to avoid any nasty UTIs. It’s especially important if you’re sharing your machine or using the attachment with a partner in order to guard against the STD transmission.

How To Make Your Own Sex Machine

It’s possible to make your own DIY sex machine from scratch for under 150 bucks using equipment from your local hardware store. There are a few ways to go about it, but the DIY recipes generally involve a drill, a dildo, a mount, an adapter, and a few other bits and bobs. However, I absolutely wouldn’t recommend going down this route.

Not only is the finished DIY product likely to be much less effective than commercial machines, but it’s also potentially dangerous. Power tools are for housework and construction, not masturbation. If you choose to use them as such, you’re putting yourself at risk of electrocution, burns, and severe bodily injury.

That being said, I’m not your mother. If you’re determined to try to make your own, at least make sure you follow a guide and adhere to the safety advice therein.

For reference, I’ve included a YouTube video with instructions below but just to reiterate: I absolutely don’t recommend or endorse trying this.

Final Thoughts

That concludes our ultimate guide to sex machines. What do you think? Are you open-minded enough to try one?

If a fucking machine doesn’t seem like the right sex toy for you, fear not. There are plenty of other options on the market. To explore some of your other options, check out our guides to anal sex toys, bad dragon dildos, or vibrating panties.

Enjoy!