Why Procrastination Is So Hard To Fight
If the “Just Do It” technique doesn’t work, consider this:
Most of us want a quick fix solution to stop procrastinating. We know it should be simple: Just sit down and write. Just go outside and run. Just go to sleep at 10 PM.
But we’re dealing with an emotional mind, not a rational one.
And emotions are so complex that there could be multiple reasons as to why we won’t do the work.
Before knowing how, we need to understand what kind of procrastination is blocking us in the first place.
There Is Not Only One Solution to Procrastination
Dr. Alok Kanojia (a.k.a Dr. K) has shifted the way I look at procrastination.
In his mental health webinar, he mentions three types that are worth exploring:
- Avoidance: You want to escape a negative emotion.
- Idealistic: You believe the result should look a certain way.
- Operational: You think the task is too complex to tackle.
I tried encapsulating these types into three paralyzing thoughts:
Instead of letting emptiness, confusion, and perfectionism block our path, we could replace them with three slogans to help us move forward.
Slogan #1: Procrastination makes sense.
Paralyzing thought: “If I start this task, I will feel bad”.
Translation: “I’m scared of feeling empty.”
Procrastination is not something to be ashamed of. It’s in our human nature to escape the feeling of emptiness.
Suppose you have to write an essay for next week. You know it would be best to start right now, so that you won’t feel stressed afterwards.
But your brain says: No. That doesn’t make any sense. Why would you work so hard now if you could just finish that stupid essay in one day, right before the deadline? Wouldn’t that give you much more time for pleasure?
That’s actually a smart move: our brain is trying to save us from pain.
Procrastination wants to save you
Here’s Dr. K on procrastination:
“The reason why procrastination is so resistant is because it’s a really, really effective solution.” (Source: Healthy Gamer Webinar #3)
In fact, procrastination is not a monster that came out of nowhere. It actually makes sense: If writing that paper requires a lot of mental effort, then why would we do it now, if we could just wing it later and still survive?
As a result, we avoid the task. The good news is that we get to delay the emotion. On the flip side, there’s this annoying voice in your head that says: “I really SHOULD be doing this right now”.
And that creates guilt.
Case in point: whether you procrastinate or not, you’ll feel “bad” emotions. In other words, the emptiness you’re trying to escape has always been there. The trick is not to fight it, but to embrace it.
How to embrace avoidance procrastination:
- Step 1: Continue the distraction. Yes, it sounds counter-productive, but it’s hard to just quit something when you’re in the midst of it.
- Step 2: During the distraction, tell yourself: “Procrastination makes sense. What I’m doing is rational. I’m actually trying to escape something”.
- Step 3: There will be a brief moment when you’ll realize that you’re actually able to stop. Like a tiny spark. A slight visualization of you turning off your phone, or putting back the potato chips bag into the drawer. That’s when you want to make a small compromise to yourself: “After I finish my distraction, I just want to sit and reflect on my emotion”.
Once you feel somewhat ready to concentrate, we can move on to the next step.
- Step 4: Ask yourself: “Can I name the thing I am trying to avoid?”. Dr. K suggests to label the emotion. Indeed, it’s not the task that we’re escaping, but rather the feeling behind it. There could be a dozen reasons as to why you’re not doing that essay. Is it the shame of realizing how bad you are at writing? Is it anxiety of not providing a good enough work? Is it the apprehension that you might feel bored?
Instead of criticizing yourself for having negative emotions, realize that suffering is part of the human experience.
- You’re not bad or weak for avoiding a task. You’re human.
- Once you finally get to work, you’re not bad or weak for experiencing unpleasant emotions. Humans don’t have to be happy all the time, even when they do activities they love.
Alice Boyes, author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit, states:
“[…] you might find it helpful to remind yourself that you’re not entitled to experience only positive emotions.” — Alice Boyes
It’s possible to find relief knowing that emotions are there to serve us.
Once you make peace with your avoidance, you will find better compassion towards yourself. Moving on will be easier.
Slogan #2: Lower your expectations.
Paralyzing thought: “I have to be ready in order to start”.
Translation: “I’m waiting to be perfect so that I can achieve a perfect work, at a perfect time, and at perfect circumstances.”
Here comes the trap of perfectionism.
Reaching for excellence is great because it gives you the adrenaline to put in the work. However, it can also feel daunting, especially if our self-esteem is not as high as our goal.
I used to be so disappointed in myself when I did not reach my expectations.
For instance, I tried to implement the habit of running every morning. But I didn’t do any physical exercise back then. Only a few days later, I got exhausted…and unmotivated to pursue my habit.
My expectations were set too high. I needed to match my skills to my level of confidence.
I learned that it’s okay to aim for smaller goals.
How to choose wisely our ladder of expectation
If we’re perfectionists, we might be tempted to choose the highest ladder, which happens to end nowhere. But because the idea of “perfect” is too abstract and exists solely in the mind, that ladder is unreliable and its bars are too thin.
There is no shame in assessing our skills and pick the lowest ladder if that matches our confidence. This is where we make progress.
- Instead of running a sprint for the first time, take a 30 minute walk.
- Instead of studying for the highest grade, study for a good enough grade.
- Instead of writing a brilliant article, focus on just writing the article.
This could look like an excuse for not putting in the effort, but I realize that the point is not to aim so high that our self-esteem is affected. The point is to find the easiest way to start.
By lowering your expectations, the good news is: you might discover that your result turned out even better than what you initially thought.
Slogan #3: You don’t need motivation. You need clarity.
Paralyzing thought: “I just don’t know where to start”.
Translation: “This task is way too confusing and unpractical for me”.
When we’re faced with an abstract activity, we fail to see the little steps that are necessary to take.
As content creator Dan Koe explains:
“Most people don’t need motivation. They need clarity. So become a mad scientist: fill a notebook with your ambitions, goals, and the exact steps you’re going to take. Refine it with time, because perfection isn’t human. A plan creates clarity; clarity creates action.” — Dan Koe (Source)
The solution is to transform a big scary project, into small, daily achievable missions.
Writing a research paper sounds simple: you just sit down and write. But there is much more to that: Brainstorming on the subject. Making interviews. Going to the library to search for relevant books. Finding articles online. Creating the outline. Writing one sentence, then one paragraph, then one page. Finishing the draft. Cutting out parts that don’t fit. And so on. You get the point.
Add bars to your ladder
Whether you’re climbing an “Excellent” or an “At least I tried” ladder, it can always be envisioned with multiple bars.
Dr. K. explains that video games already do the chunking of tasks for you, so you don’t have to mentally operate. That’s the case of RPGs, where you’re supposed to accomplish small quests until you get to the boss battle.
Another way to envision it is to play on tutorial mode: here, you’re taken by the hand for every task until you feel comfortable. Now, you can use that technique into your real life.
Every small task you accomplish is a reward. You can then move on to the next step. And the next. And so on until your big project finally gets done.
You’re turning confusion into clarity.
Use Procrastination as a Compass
Procrastination is so hard to fight because it’s an emotional process that we need to understand. It’s also made up of different components, and for that, we need to determine the core issue behind our fear.
I believe that the antidote is to make peace with Emptiness, Perfectionism, and Confusion. That is, accepting them into our lives, and using Mindfulness, Acceptance, and Clarity to make our task less intimidating.
Knowing that, we can use procrastination as an emotional compass.
It’s there to teach us about our own human limitations.
