Please don’t participate in politics, thanks.

Events of recent weeks got me fired up. They reignited my interest in politics. The passion that I felt in my late teens and through my twenties was returning. I was going to fight against the lies, I was going to have my voice heard, I was going to help make a change. Or some such delusion.

On the losing side of what felt like the stacked game of the EU referendum I did what I thought needed to be done. I wouldn’t sit and observe any more. I would re-join the Labour Party to participate after an absence of over 15 years. I wouldn’t choose yet. I would listen to the arguments, weigh the decision and play my tiny part in the process of what I was being continually told was democracy.

I engaged. I followed. I liked. I re-tweeted. I spoke out. I listened. I saw the anger. I read hate. I was shocked by the abuse. I paused.

Do I want to be a part of this?

It’s been such a short time. A short and turbulent time. And I’m already tired of being constantly angry. I’m tired of the fact that my focus is not where it should be, but instead is on the ludicrous gameplay of a bunch of seemingly suicidal politicians. But this is important. Those in government have made swift decisions and the rest of us need to get our shit together, provide effective and critical opposition, whilst helping to rebuild the hell they’ve left us with.

There’s a report doing the rounds that the membership I’ve paid for won’t actually now allow me to have a say in the leadership of the party I’ve joined. If I want to do that I’ll need to pay £25 for the privilege. My commitment to joining a party and paying a monthly fee is not enough. It’s not valued. My word, my opinion is not valued. My money though, that seems to be of value. No need to join at all. Just pay to play.

Do I want to be a member of a party that values my cash over my commitment to participation? I’m not sure I do…