Songs about stalking, roofies and general mayhem
It was a kinder gentler America…
I was inspired to write this story by a post from another blogger, who pointed out some horrible Christmas songs that had unnerving innuendoes sprinkled into seemingly innocent lyrics.
Turns out, we’ve been cranking out creepy perv songs for a long time, and in years past, no one seemed to bat an eye over these songs that make you want to keep the police on speed-dial.
Knock Three Times
This one is the tamest of the group, about a girl that lives below a young man who’s apparently watching her every move.
I can hear your music playing
I can feel your body swaying
One floor below me
You don’t even know me, I love you
Read how many times I saw you
How in my silence, I adored you
And only in my dreams did
That wall between us come apart
As if ol’ Tony Orlando’s 70’s ‘stache didn’t look creepy enough, the lyrics pull on the string with the note that’s attached to my heart is an earworm guaranteed to make you cringe.
Love Potion #9
This next one, from way back in 1959, is about a fly-by-night gypsy pharmaceutical developer with a solution guaranteed to make the ladies love you:
She bent down, turned around and gave me a wink, she said ‘I’ll make it up right here in the sink’ — what the hell is IN this stuff? Can I get it at Costco?
This song has been covered by many other artists, among them The Searchers, the Hit Crew, Gary Lewis and the Playboys, and several more.
Little Red Riding Hood
Just watching Sam the Sham sing this travesty makes my skin crawl. Apparently, Sam’s intentions were nefarious, despite his offer to make sure Red Riding Hood made it to Grandma’s…personally, I’d take my chances with the wolf…
What big eyes you have
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad
So just to see that you don’t get chased
I think I ought to walk with you for a ways
and then later:
I’ll try to be satisfied
Just to walk close by your side
Maybe you’ll see things my way
Before we get to Grandma’s place
Maybe you’ll see things my way, hm? Must’ve been more difficult to get a restraining order in the 1960's…
Delilah
Tom Jones is in love with Delilah. So in love, he spied on her through her window and lost his shit…
Trigger warning: He STABS her in her doorway! This song charted at №2 in 1968…how?
I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window
I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind
She was my woman
As she deceived me, I watched and went out of my mind
At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting
I crossed the street to her house and she opened the door
She stood there laughing
I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more
Like I said, it was a kinder gentler America…er, sumpin’.
Anyways, I’m just getting started, so if you read this and it amuses you, give me the clap and read some of my other stuff…but be gentle with me… :)
