Never Too Old
As a kid I didn’t have a shot at knowing that knowledge is power. Not until my freshman year of high school had any adult ever told me I needed school. When I look back I can’t believe how I was able to slip through the cracks of the educational system. I failed 6th grade and 10th grade. Other years I forged progress report, report cards, etc. without any adult ever checking up on me. And I always just skated on through to the next year.
My ninth grade year I did see a glimmer of my capabilities because of an aunt and uncle that I lived with that year. They stayed on me and pushed me. I didn’t stay with them, though. The following year I was right back to not caring, after all no one else did. My second attempt at 10th grade was as far as I got in school.
In 1997 at the age of 22, when I was in the county jail they afford a GED class, and to be honest I didn’t even know that was a thing. After about 2.5 months of sitting in county one of the C.O.’s (correction Officer in lock up terms) had asked if I had a diploma. I told her I didn’t and she said I should be ready the next day, she was going to take me to the GED class. I went, reluctantly, it gave me a reason to get out of “the block”.
My first few classes I was not very confident of how much I had retained during my younger days. Surprisingly the work came pretty easily to me. After about 3 months of going I was told the testing schedule would be coming around soon, I was scared to death. I dropped the class and never went back again. In March of 1998, I’m in my cell and they keep saying “Tasha Shelby report to the sally port for GED testing”. I knew that was a mistake, for one I had not been to class in over two months, and two it cost $75 to take the GED test in the county jail and I had not paid that cost. I did not even bother coming out of my cell. My name kept getting called even though I said over and over that there was a mistake. To no avail they kept calling. Finally the C.O. came and told me to get dressed “your going to get your GED today”. I tried to reason with her that this was impossible because of the above mentioned obstacles. She insisted, so I did as I was told.
When we got to the class the instructor informed me that he had seen much potential in me those three months I had shown up and believed I could get my GED on the first try. I learned that he and the C.O. had paid for my testing. I got that GED. First try.
I wish I knew that instructors name. The C.O. was Ms. Jackie. They changed my thoughts on education. They showed me something in myself that had been difficult for me to see on my own.
By the time I was sentenced and came to prison I knew if I had to do time that I was going to want to further my education. When you get to prison you go through a classification process, they have a list of programs you can check off that you may be interested in while incarcerated. I was checking off everything. Once I had been classified and put in with the general population I learned that although men with a life sentence had opportunities to excel in prison I would not be offerded these same opportunities. The state was not keen on investing in women, who in prison are deemed a liability or those of us that on paper say we will never be productive members of society again. In other words I had two strikes against me, I was a woman and I had a life without parole sentence.
I felt deflated but I was not to stay in that fealing. Over the years I have fought to become an educated woman and just like that instructor and that C.O. there have been others along my journey that saw something in me and helped me fight this battle. Ms Owens, she taught me the right words to say and how to fight to further my opportunities, always leading me towards to right people, whom would help lend me a hand. Ms. Newll, she went to the commissioner of the prison asking him to give me a chance. Together she and I won that shot, I became the first woman with a life without parole sentence to receive a cosmetology license at CMCF (Central Mississippi Correctional Facility).
I didn't stop there, though and with the help of Mrs. Morris we fought and I was able to take business technology. I am now certified in Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint.
Slowly things over the years have begun to change for women and individuals with life sentences. By the summer of 2016 I had the opportunity to be involved in a program called the Prison to College Pipeline Program. I am now enrolled as a student as Mississippi College. I have now earned 15 credits with 3.8 GPA. Me!
These moments have built my confidence, there is still so much worth left in me. I wish I had known this years ago but I know it now. I am currently in the process of waiting to see if I will be accepted into a four year seminary program that will allow me to earn a BA. I have been to one meeting, next I will be interviewed. I am so hopeful now, not frightened like I once was. As disapointing as it is that I didn’t know all this in my formative years I am so grateful to those individuals placed in my path that allowed me to see something better in myself and for my life, no matter what my current circumstances are. To aunt Penny, uncle Jim, the instructor Ms. Jackie, Ms. Owens, Ms. Newll, Mrs. Morris and all of the professors that brought an education in here to us women from Jackson State, Milsats, and MC colleges from the bottom of my heart I am so grateful and I thank you. Knowledge IS power, and educating myself has been life changing in the most positive and productive ways. This has all shown me you really are never to old to learn.
