The Russian military patents a design for a new bullet proof vest made of recycled nokia 3310s

With recent threats of war from North Korea, Russian military engineers have been thinking long and hard about a new technology that could give them the advantage if war were to break out.

The secretary of defence, Sergey Shoygu, said during a press conference that military researches have been looking for a way to create an eco friendly and durable material for the Russian troops.

The research has shown that these new bullet proof vests are 6 times more protective than the ones used by most military forces today. They claim that the notoriously indestructible phone is a stronger alternative to the traditional Kevlar that is currently used. When asked about how they would acquire enough phones to supply the Russian military with their new vests, Shoygu replied saying that the Russian military had partnered with Microsoft.

A few hours later Bill Gates jumped to Twitter to announce his recent partnership. “We are proud to announce that Microsoft will be partnering with the Russian military to supply them with 1.2 billion old Nokia 3310s”. Many individuals are wondering where all these phones will be coming from. Inside sources at Microsoft are indicating that Microsoft is planning to source the phones from a branch of their new service 'Cemetery 365’.