A. Nonymous
Nov 7 · 3 min read

The answer in two words: It’s bad.

In a few more words, it’s real, real bad. Realrealrealreal bad.

You know all those welfare mothers you love to hate, the ones who won’t “better themselves” so they stop subsisting on your tax dollars? The 600 lb people who won’t lose weight? The people on drugs, the people who underperform, the people who rob and cheat and shoot others in a mad rage, the people who rape and steal? I’ll wager 90% of them grew up like this.

Sadly, some of the people you most admire, the people who LOOK successful, grew up like this, too. Their lives are pleasing to you to look on because they have the right physical appearance, the right house, the family that looks so beautiful on the outside. That forty-year marriage you count on between your oldest friends. Yet, completely unbeknownst to you no matter how long you’ve known them, the people are literally dying inside with unhappiness. Suddenly, there’s an affair and an acrimonious divorce! What happened?? THIS.

I personally grew up the child of a mentally ill mother and two codependent dishrag dads. My mother was sexually abused by her father, who was raised by an abusive dad and a checked out bedridden depressed mom. I personally believe both my mother and my grandfather had BPD. I have grown up so screwed up, so maladjusted, and so sad I spent my entire childhood wishing I’d never been born. I’ve lived fifty-one years of my life believing, literally believing I had to outperform nearly anyone on the planet in some way in order to be thought half as good. No matter how much I cognitively understood that the way I was raised was wrong, the feelings still persisted and drove everything I did, and my life has mostly been very, very painful.

Thank God I didn’t have kids. I would have messed those children up so, so much. Fortunately, I realized from the age of four I didn’t want to be a mother. In any case, I was so screwed up growing up that I wasn’t able to appropriately pair bond and didn’t even have sex til I was 32, and I needed a hysterectomy at 35. My brother hasn’t been able to appropriately pair bond either, even though he wanted kids. He’s 46 now and getting too old. So there was one family line of sick, sick, sick, sick people that will thankfully end with us.

Now, we wonder why the world is so full of mixed up people in so much pain doing mixed up things that perpetuate the pain. It’s because people who aren’t capable of raising children are having them.

We see this. We know this. Then, what do we do? We try to force even more mixed up people in too much pain and poverty to raise children, who don’t even want children and realize they can’t care for them, to have children and treat them like this by outlawing abortion. Why do we do this? It’s bad for the babies born into a home and a society where they are unloved and no one wants to take care of them. It’s bad for the parents forced into caring eighteen years for a child they didn’t want. It’s bad for society when all these people start acting out their rage and pain.

Why do religious idiots demand babies be born into this? Do they really think God wants tender, precious little children whose brains aren’t even formed yet to be born to be abused and hurt? If people don’t want a baby (and it’s less than twelve weeks along), let them try again later. Maybe then they will be better people and better parents, and fewer helpless babies will suffer at the hands of parents who don’t love them and don’t want them.

I understand now my family didn’t love me, and I never really had one. That is the worst, worst, worst, worst way a child can grow up. Looking back at my life and all the shit I’ve endured, I’d have gladly skipped this.

A. Nonymous

Written by

Award-winning late husband’s last book out now https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RGNXN6Y?pf_rd_p=183f5289-9dc0-416f-942e-e8f213ef368b&pf_rd_r=WJF8MHBCF5A3K0E

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