This story is unavailable.

Micah — I like the matrix concept and the tongue-in cheek judgy-ness. But 2 questions:

  1. How does swimming not get it’s own column, let alone not get it’s own paragraph?
  2. When did puny Jason Statham (divers are tiny pixies, and John Cena could eat him, too) become our high water mark for action? Don’t get me wrong, Statham is cool as shit. But you might as well have said, I don’t know… Collin Farrell action movies.
Like what you read? Give Todd Flora a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.