How I feel about Germany: It’s Complicated!

My move to Germany happened around two years ago. Before that, I’d wandered around a little bit. In 2010, I left for the United States to pursue my Master’s degree at the ripe young age of 21, as many Indians do. I should’ve been terrified, moving halfway across the world after having spent my entire life (save for two years of boarding school) living at home. And yet, I wasn’t. It all felt incredibly familiar, thanks in no small part to globalisation and the endless supply of American TV shows, movies, music and books that I’d grown up with. There was no room for culture shock.

Growing up in India, you could say that I had embraced a kind of double life, like many of my peers. We were raised on scrumptious Indian food, spoke the local language, relished local movies, and resisted with equal measure the local traditions and norms. In a way, my thought process and perspective on life had left India way before I physically did. And when I arrived in the US, my suitcases and eccentricities in tow, I soaked it all up.

The second time I moved abroad was to volunteer with an NGO in Jerusalem, which I’ve written about here. Despite my lack of Hebrew skills and the fact that I had never set foot in that part of the world until then, I felt instantly at home. I like to say that Jerusalem has somewhat ruined the rest of the world for me. It is a great, inexplicable love affair and no other city has thus far been able to match up.

Birkenstocks & Frankfurters

The third time I moved abroad, I was stumped. I wasn’t prepared for life in stern, pragmatic German society. I felt homesick, an emotion I’d rarely experienced prior to that moment. It was the kind of homesickness brought on by a longing to simply feel at home, which was hard to do in a country where even Germans “with migration background” are considered outsiders. I longed for the chaotic crowded streets of India, for cinema halls where people commented loudly during the movie, and for the culture where what is on your mind is on your lips, without any screening process in between.

I’ve lived in Germany for two years now, and I still haven’t gotten used to the way of life here. The distance between people disguised as politeness and, contradictorily, the futility of attempting to shake off the dreaded German Stare. The near-fixation with rules and norms, and the rarity of spontaneous conversations with strangers. All of the times I’ve wanted to simply yell, “Lighten up!” The fact that, for the first time in my life, I’m acutely aware of the colour of my skin. The frustrating task of apartment-hunting as a foreigner and being told repeatedly that German citizens are the preferred tenants, no matter how much money you may have in the bank. I’m not even going to get into the rising xenophobia in German society. Fit in, work hard, play by the rules seems to be the norm here. And if that is true, I’m not sure if I can ever get used to life in Germany.

But Why Am I Complaining?

This isn’t just another blog post deriding Germany. On the contrary, in my attempt to not be so obstinate, I’ve decided to take note of all the positives about life in this country. While I may take them for granted now, I know that I will miss these little things when I leave. What might these be, you ask? Well…

a. Being rule-driven can come in handy sometimes. Like when you need to wait four hours in the freezing cold for a bus to Munich that is very, very late. Rest assured that not only will you be reimbursed for your inconvenience but also for the cappuccino you drank to keep warm in the cold and the train you took to the cafe to drink the aforementioned cappuccino and the bill from the nice restaurant you popped into, because of course you had to feed yourself while you waited. Hard to imagine this kind of customer service in India, isn’t it?

b. THE SUPERMARKETS! Who’d have thought that one could buy whole wheat pasta, non-GMO poultry, and delicious, wholesome bread (real bread, not toast) all for less than 5 Euros? Being healthy isn’t an exclusive right of the rich here in Germany. The supermarkets, particularly the discount stores like Aldi, Lidl and Norma, are cheap and stocked with much healthier choices than in other parts of the world. And there are plenty of affordable gyms around as well!

c. In most parts of Germany, you can drink alcohol on the train, in the metro, on the bus. Or on the street, without concealing it in a glaringly obvious paper bag. Or basically almost anywhere you please. It is refreshing to be treated as an adult. Germany knows that we aren’t alcoholics or sinners or public nuisances — we’re just enjoying a simple beverage after a long day.

d. Education is free — as it should be! Enough said. And let’s not forget the healthcare. Thanks to a little bit of research, I’ve found a plan that enables me to pay less than 40 Euros a month for health insurance that covers every cent of my medical expenditures. I’ve been to the doctor’s for the most absurd things, simply because I can. Now that’s a feeling I certainly didn’t have back when I lived in Colorado.

…And I’m out of reasons. Like I said, I may never get used to life in Germany. But here’s the thing — I don’t have to. I just have to find ways to make the most of it for as long as I’m here.