I Read Your Dating Profile. . . Um, Where Are You?
You are an appealing person. Your friends and family love you, your coworkers respect you, and everyone says you deserve someone wonderful. You have an awesome life, yet your dating profile is skim-milk-bland. The charming person that is you is nowhere to be found in it. This is a travesty.
I do understand. Writing about yourself is taxing. You want to be interesting without sounding full of yourself and picky about how much you reveal to strangers. It is a challenging needle to thread. Thread it anyway. You do yourself a disservice showcasing a milquetoast ‘About Me’ section. Dating is supposed to be fun; your profile should reflect as much! More importantly, a captivating profile will help you have more engaging dates and better screen out non-qualifiers.
Think ‘teaser trailer.’ The most common faux pas I see in online dating profiles is the regurgitation of the already listed categorical facts (ex. hobbies, occupation) in the ‘About Me’ section. Could anything be duller? If traveling is already checked off as an interest, saying “I like to travel” is redundant and adds zero zest to your profile. Since traveling is one of your key features, expand upon the fact by providing some insight: Why does traveling make you come alive? Why is New Orleans your favorite birthday celebration spot? Hook the reader by hinting at a compelling story. The ‘About Me’ section is where the banter begins. Be engaging with your opening volley.
Be playful. Remember: Dating is supposed to be fun. Your profile should reflect your understanding of this easily forgotten fact. If you treat talking about yourself like a chore, that feeling will come across in your writing. Do not take yourself so seriously! The chances that you and your date are going to immediately start planning college funds for your future children are slim, so keep your tone and mindset light. A dash of flirtatiousness never hurts, either. Allow your inner child to push the pen. Compared to you, it is full of gusto and much more carefree.
Authenticity is vital. The absolute worst thing you can do for yourself is concoct a presentation about a nonexistent you. Your profile is an advertisement, and potential buyers want to encounter the product as advertised. You may be able to keep up a façade for a date or two, but the real you will eventually reveal itself. Much easier to be yourself instead of obeying the rules of a fictional character, so make sure your profile is a true avatar. It will be a refreshing change of pace for those meandering on the dating scene.
Why be salt or pepper when you can be cilantro? Have a rapier wit? Give readers a taste of it. Still love Yu-Gi-Oh? Toss that factoid into the mix. The quirky things about yourself that you are afraid to mention are the very things that will draw your people to you. Some people will be turned off, but fret not. They are not your people. The dating profile is a beacon for those who will appreciate how fascinating you are. Use it as such.

Help yourself by assisting your dates. What do you do for work? How long have you lived here? So, you like basketball? You must be tired of the same dull and awkward first date questions. This is where an intriguing ‘About Me’ section works as an excellent assistant. Written properly, your profile will:
- Be a great conversation starter.
- Show who paid attention to what is written.
- Help fast forward past the standard questions so your dates can learn about what makes you you.
- Reveal how much they are interested in you.
Each point is useful for everyone involved, but #4 is the godsend for you. Dates who are too oblivious to follow breadcrumbs 1–3 probably will not warrant a second date (assuming you grant them a first). #4, however, is the truth serum. The dates who share your vibe will be excited to talk to you about the unique topics revealed in your ‘About Me’ section, even if some of your interests have never appealed to them before. Noticing shows awareness (points 1–3); genuine interest shows care and excitement (point № 4). Point four is difficult to fake, even when people are on their first-date best behavior. “Use the force, Luke.”
Dating will be as entertaining as your mindset allows it to be. A good friend of mine constantly implores her clients to, “Show up as your best self.” Her advice rings just as true in dating as it does in business. Start the merriment with your profile, and make clear that meeting you will be their delight.
André Vaughn is the Founder and Wordsmith of The Verbal Effect, the writing service that focuses on capturing your audience’s attention and inspiring more meaningful conversations. Feel like your profile is skim milk? Shoot an email to andre@theverbaleffect.com with the subject line ‘Is My Profile Dateable?. Follow The Verbal Effect on Facebook and Instagram!
