Simple Practice: the seat in your heart

4 min readAug 29, 2022

reflections from a therapist

pink watercolour heart with a dark blue hanging chair in the middle — image created on Canva

Several years ago I came across the documentary: I AM by Tom Shadyac. Interviews with philosophers and scientists on ways we can improve our world.

While there were many thought provoking aspects of this film, the scene where Shadyac visited HeartMath Institute was the peak for me.

It changed how I showed up as a therapist.

It also sparked a simple emotional regulation practice that I’ve taught to dozens of clients over the years (with big results!)

( jump to the bottom to find this simple practice❤)

What I Took Away:

Our Hearts Feel it First

Shadyac learned about the vagus nerve that travels from heart to brain and the electromagnetic field that surrounds our human hearts.

This field allows the heart to first sense the environment around us and then communicate this information to our brain.

‘Check the vibe’ if you will. ✨

Our Connection to Our Heart is Everything

You want to know what I found amusing about this groundbreaking research? How simple it all boils down to:

→ when we practice slow, heart-focused-breathing we send the message to our brains that we’re safe. ←

That’s it.

I’ve seen this simple practice change people’s lives and I know it can change your life too.

Heart-Focused-Breathing Helps Us AND Those Around Us

We have the very natural desire to help (often solve) when others are in pain.
But what if our biggest offering was the way we make others FEEL?

What if in the comfort of our relaxed presence, the other’s heart could perceive safety? Informing their brains that it’s safe to process instead of protect.

The researches at HeartMath say this is the power of our human connection.

How I’ve Applied This as a Therapist:

Tune In:

In the years after watching this documentary I experimented with these findings in my work. If I client was in distress, I’d tune in to my heart to see how I was feeling. If I noticed tension, I’d consciously release and breathe slowly. Focusing on my heart.

To my delight, I noticed clients breathing deepen and emotions regulate.
This anecdotal evidence had me hooked on the power of our hearts!

Re-frame my role:

I found it easier to deeply listen when I was grounded in my role as ‘heart rhythm holder’ — rather than ‘frantic problem solver’ (which is what I sometimes shifted into when sharing space with a human in pain).

I re-framed: I’m here to help, to: I’m here to hold space.

Conversations flowed with ease and clients often found their own way to realizations when we both focused on regulating our breathing and focusing on our hearts.

Empower:

Recognizing the impact of heart-focused-breathing, I’ve guided and educated dozens of clients through the following simple practice.

Remember: Visualization does not require you to literally *see* the images. Rather, it encourages a felt recognition of what’s being guided.

Do your best to embody the words below and notice the subtle shifts that begin to happen: breathing deepens; shoulders relax; rational thoughts flow.

The Seat in Your Heart :

a simple practice to shift your mood

1. Imagine you have an inner-being bouncing around your mind, trying to make things happen way up in the forehead.

2. Invite this inner being to gently slide down your forehead, down your nose, over your chin, down your neck and land slowly, gently in a chair in the centre of your chest.

3. Picture the most comfortable chair that will support every inch of your inner-being. They can unfold their arms and rest their head back. Nothing’s required of them here.

4. Looking out from your heart, imagine your breath flowing slowly and deeply from the centre of your chest. Your inner being is breathing along with you now.

5. Spend as much time here as you feel is right. Invite your inner being to come down for a rest at any point. Wisdom and insight live here. Compassion and intrigue do too.

6. Thank yourself for connecting with the seat in your heart. Each time you come here, the path gets more known for your inner being. Perhaps picture bringing a blanket and some tea next time.