The Importance of Being Bitchy

Do you know how to make a good first impression? Well, I don’t. When people meet me for the first time, they often get the impression that I’m cold, arrogant, cocky, pretentious and bottom line mean. I am perfectly okay with that.

You see, as an introvert, I have found this incredibly useful. It’s all logical: when people don’t like you, they avoid you. Sure, there are instances when I’m trying my best to make a good impression, like in a job interview or when meeting my husband’s parents for the first time. But that’s an exception that proves the rule: being bitchy is useful for a misanthrope like me.

Abrupt, rough, harsh, blunt — I’ve heard it all. One guy even called me a robot, implying that I don’t care for people’s feelings. Boo-hoo. Another one told me I am a textbook example of passive aggressiveness. And that’s all because I hate small talk, don’t play by the general etiquette rules, speak my mind and try to avoid people I’m not comfortable with. Big deal!

Some think I genuinely hate them, although it is often the opposite. After three years of knowing each other, my sister’s boyfriend is still not sure whether I like him or not (I do. You guys are great together.) And I think the reason for that is me being overly sarcastic. What a shock. People don’t usually get whether I’m serious or joking. But you know, that’s the good part, because the ones that do are the closest people I have.

Sometimes people get offended by my honesty. Yeh, well sorry I won’t sugar coat the truth. You did put on some weight, and no, those leopard leggings don’t make you look fat — McDonald’s does. No, you’re not skilled enough to apply for that job, you have to work harder. You’ll never get a girl if you keep looking like that. Yes, your presentation was boring, you should try brightening it up next time. But that makes me the person people turn to when they need an honest opinion. Some really do appreciate me for that. A small, very tiny group of people.

That being said, I may not be bitchy per se, it’s just the impression I make. And it does wonders for me since I have neither the time nor energy to be around toxic, two-faced or emotionally draining people. Would I change it? No. Are you kidding me? This bitchiness is great for sorting all kinds of emotional crap out of my life! But I do wish I could be more friendly and attentive to my close friends and family. I just learned to not waste time on stuff that doesn’t matter and only hang out with the people that make me feel good. Shouldn’t everyone?

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