Stop the Cruel Voices in your Head And Learn to Love Yourself — This Simple Way Works
Here is How I Did It (almost by accident!)
In 2003 I was living with my then husband and our two small daughters outside of San Antonio, TX. Still entrenched in my former religious group and ideas, I was carrying a great deal of baggage from my upbringing, indoctrinations, and familial dysfunctions.
There isn’t a way to feel God within until we love ourselves.
It was in that year that I experienced my first, — and I hope my last, depression. I had used the term loosely before. But this was the real thing. It was profound, debilitating, painful, cold, scary, bizarre; like your mind, thoughts, emotions and feelings all have vertigo.
This is my story of how one simple thing — that you can do NOW, slowly started and continued to change everything…
One day, a friend from “the fellowship”, Sylvie, told me that her family had visited a therapist of sorts, and that she had given them a strange therapy.
The therapist had my friend lie down, close her eyes and say to herself: “I love you Sylvie”. The therapist would be watching Sylvie’s muscles’ response: they tensed up instantly. “Do it again” she was told; “I love you Sylvie”, muscles tense up… time after time. When Sylvie would tell herself that she loved herself, her body’s intelligence knew that she was lying, so her muscles would tense up.
The therapist told them to make a recording of their own voices with the message, “I love you — fill in the name” and listen to it every day.
I don’t know if they followed directions, but maybe that message was for me.
Starting that same day I started telling myself “I Love You”
In my own thoughts and my own voice any moment I wanted: “I love you Vivi”… “I love you”.
I kept doing it every day; over and over. It started sometimes to run in the back of my mind. Despite suffering depression, I knew at a deep level, I am sure, that this was something I needed.
I have been doing it since, — with less urgency perhaps. My voice has gotten more tender. It warms my heart, and I know the words are true. Even when I am passing through suffering, — or perhaps, especially when I am passing through suffering, I know I am there, and I am loving myself through whatever I am going through.
It is not a selfish thing to love ourselves; it is the most altruistic thing we can do, in effect. It is a way to say “THANK YOU” for the gifts we have received.
Jesus said: “Love your neighbor as yourself” Mark 12:31
I cannot pinpoint when I “got it”, but I know that the kinds of transformations that started to show up in my life never could have happened without something new being introduced in me. Something ALIVE. These movements are still going on today. I don’t know where they will lead me, but I trust the foundation.
Love for my own self; love for my life’s journey; love for my life’s efforts, good intentions, for every impulse of love, care and compassion… This, I understood clearly, was the same as loving God.
Talking about loving God is empty babble if in our hearts isn’t a love for ourselves. We cannot give what we don’t have, — even though we can pretend and deceive ourselves that we do.
It is simple: when we recognize the divine aspect of ourselves, loving ourselves is automatic, and that is loving God. This also produces love for others, who we now see, at least in some measure, as being connected to the whole divine network of life that never ends.
This is not to be confused with the horror of narcissism. Not by a million miles.
It is love for myself that allows me to discipline myself.
It is love and respect for myself that allows me to admit when I have been wrong.
I have come to discover that everything that I have been able to accomplish since 2003 is a result of what I started that day as I plowed my way through a depression. My impulse for growth was present despite it all, and some faith.
Keep the mind out of it as much as possible
Tell yourself: “I love you — your name”, and watch and FEEL your body. Do this over and over; even mindlessly as you are doing things; walking, driving; you can do this while you do almost anything. You can do it a hundreds of times a day easily, regardless of your state of mind: “I love you _______”.
(If you sigh, that is a good sign :-)
This connects you eventually to the vastness of Love that is.
Make this gentle change… it will take you to good places.
Call to Action:
Join me for bi-monthly thought-provoking talks where we stir the pot of traditional thinking and question things we haven’t dared to question before. — The rapid change of our societies doesn’t let us evolve fast enough and we are caught between two eras. This is full of potential but also problematic. Join me as we discuss many a provocative topic!! I look forward to seeing you there!
Copyrighted material 2017