The Whole Heart, nothing but the Heart ….so help me Vulnerability

A few years ago, I had a number of changes occur in my life all happen at once. These were the changes in the major areas of my life: relationships, career and living situation. It was messy. I didn’t treat myself right. My body was not a temple (unless temples have bars…do they?) and I found myself waking up most mornings wondering where I was heading and why all my coconut water had whiskey in it.

While I wasn’t particularly put together, I was willing to try new things, and one of those things was reading self-helpy type shit on the internet. Before that point, I turned my nose up at thinking something was “wrong” with me. But, when I realized that “Party Josh” is not a sustainable lifestyle, perhaps I should do some exploring. It was either that or being too late for breakfast at McDonalds (10:30a) two days in row because I was out late on weekdays. Either way, for an upper class well-networked decent looking white male from San Francisco who can do a killer Aussie accent, my life really wasn’t bad to begin with, but it was about to get better…way better…I can’t recall who sent me this video, but it changed my life:

Brene Brown is…so…fucking…right. Vulnerability is amazing. Cheesecake is also amazing but that’s another post. What this video did for me was to identify with the folks she called “the Whole Hearted”. They gave without expectation of receiving. They were authentic and not wishing they were someone else. The loved themselves first before loving others. I was enthralled. I explored the topic, began practicing some of these concepts in my own life and realized that the change I was seeking was IN me the entire time. I laughed, I cried and I believed in myself. I wrote a blog, I got a good job, created an art project and I fell in love with the smartest, funniest most beautiful woman in the universe. I was infinitely more happy by practicing Vulnerability in my own life.

Listening to this video and having a reaction to it are one thing, but practicing that Whole Hearted-ness is difficult. Why? Because rejection hurts. Because not liking what we see in the mirror sucks. But, here’s the thing — YOU CAN CHANGE IT ALL.

I still struggle with my compliment of personal issues, but acknowledging them and not beating myself up over them go a long way to being a generally happy person. Avoiding shooting the Second Arrow, being confident in your own decisions and TRUSTING yourself do wonders to nourish the soul.

Here’s the catch — nobody else is going to do it for you. You have to do it all yourself. You have to prove to yourself that you can make the changes you want to make. You have to make the tough decisions on relationships and career yourself. Sure, you can take other people’s advice but YOU and your WHOLE HEART know what’s best for you. There’s a voice inside — listen to it, it is trying to tell you something.

“ [Vulnerability is] the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first” — Brene Brown

Try it. Do one thing you’ve been scared of doing. Say one thing you’ve wanted to say. Make shit happen for yourself. Vulnerability is the practice of doing the things you know are true in your heart. Your Whole Heart, and nothing but your Heart.