Men Think About the Roman Empire More Than Sex
There’s an old “stat” that says men think about sex every seven seconds. Really, that’s impossible to prove or disprove. It just sounds like a fact, so people think it is. In truth, men don’t think about sex that much. Mostly, we’re thinking about the Roman Empire.
Over the past few weeks, women have been discovering that their men spend a lot of time thinking about the Romans. These women are shocked, to put it mildly. But they shouldn’t be. Why? Because the Roman Empire was fucking badass and history is awesome.
The Roman Empire
Okay, so, when we’re talking about the Roman Empire, there is a little discrepancy. It is a specific era of Rome running from 31-ish BC to somewhere between 370 and 395 AD. It varies somewhat depending on your source. This was the time of the unified Post-Republic Roman Empire when its power and potency was at its absolute peak.
Don’t get me wrong, though. Ancient Rome is super cool, too. More often than not, it gets rolled into the conversation. It’s kind of hard to talk about one without the other, especially if you want to talk myths and mythology. You can’t have the Roman Empire without the Ancient Romans.
This era kicked off with Octavian defeating Mark Antony and Cleopatra, which led to the conquest of Egypt. Yes, this all happened after the death of Julius Caesar in 44 BC. I know you were wondering. Again, it’s almost impossible to talk Rome without him coming up at some point.
While the dates of the Roman Empire line up as listed above, what men think about when it comes to the Roman Empire runs the gamut. Caesar is in there as are the Ancient Romans. Some of us even loop in everything that happened after Christians rose to power and the Empire began to crumble. The conversation really changes after that point.
Why Men Think About Rome So Much
Do men really think about Rome that much? Absolutely. Personally, I think about the history of Rome at least twice a day. That’s just the bare minimum. That is the number of times the Roman Empire pops up in my mind, unprompted and for no reason. I will literally be cooking supper or writing a report, and I’ll start idling speculating about specific battles.
Most men I know think about Rome frequently, too. Why wouldn’t we? When the Empire was at its absolute peak, it was a beacon of Pax Romana, aka Roman Peace. It was churning out art, culture, philosophy, and architecture like a mother fucker.
Plus, the Roman war machine remains one of the most dominant in history. Virtually everyone crumbled before their might. If they had AR-15s, the Roman Army would continue to dominate every fighting force on Earth. Badasses, through and through.
Naturally, all of this was built on the backs of oppressed peoples around the known world at the time. That’s part of the conversation, too. You’ve got to talk the good and the bad sides of it, or there’s no point to having the conversation. For better or worse, the Roman Empire was what it was.
Why Men Think About Rome More Than Sex
Given the choice, most men would probably rather spend time thinking about the Roman Empire than sex. Why? Because the Roman Empire is so goddamn cool. There’s nothing wrong with sex but it’s way more fun daydreaming about living in the Roman Empire.
Every man watches Gladiator at least four times a year, whether you know it or not. Every single one of us imagines being Maximus and fighting for Rome. Then, we don’t stop imagining it for the next three weeks. Every time a woman asks us what we’re thinking about when we get that weird, far away look on our faces, we’re playing out the events of Gladiator.
Do we daydream about being Vikings, Ancient Egypt, or exploring the Amazon? Sure. Any sane person has spent time on that. But the Roman Empire is special. It brings together so many parts of the male psyche into one perfect fantasy life. Plus, learning about history is just fun.
If you can even casually research the Roman Empire and not be fascinated by it, I’m pretty sure I can’t explain this phenomenon to you. Sorry, but that’s how it is. You either get it or you don’t. All I’m saying is try putting a good half hour a day into daydreaming about Rome for a week or two and get back to me. You won’t be disappointed.
