You’ll Never Be Happy, But You Can Be Content

Everyone thinks they want to be happy. They think that the next job will do the trick. Or a new life partner. Maybe if they can get their hands on that new doodad Apple is selling, they’ll finally by happy.

The dirty truth is that you will never be happy. Happiness is a mirage in the desert, one that keeps disappearing the closer you get. It’s just not real. But do you know what is real? Feeling content, and it’s way more fulfilling.

Happiness is a Marketing Gimmick

In 1979, McDonald’s introduced the Happy Meal to its menu. Targeted at children, it contained smaller portions of food as well as a toy or book. Most of us have experienced the joy of a Happy Meal being set in front of us at some point in our lives.

When you’re young, something like that can make you actually happy. Or at least shut you up for 20 minutes, which is all a parent really wants.

As it turns out, the Happy Meal was a bit of marketing brilliance from a company renowned for its overall marketing brilliance. Since the obvious demographic was families and their spending power, other organizations got swept up in these shenanigans.

Companies making movies, TV series, and video games wanted to include toys based on their properties in Happy Meals. It became another means of direct marketing something to children as well as the subsect of adults who still buy Happy Meals for the toys.

Don’t judge me.

This is a prime example of the concept of happiness being used to market pretty much anything. On a daily basis, you are inundated with messaging that tells you Product X is the one that will finally get you over the hump, the one that will finally make you happy.

What adults hopefully realize is that’s just not the case. Literally nothing can make you happy for two very important reasons.

Reason #1: Happiness Isn’t Real

You can’t buy happiness because it’s impossible to be happy, at least when it comes to what we think happiness is. Humans are never happy with anything in their lives. Look at Star Wars fans. No one on the face of the Earth hates Star Wars more than some Star Wars fans. Does that make sense? Of course not! But that’s how humans are.

Happiness doesn’t lead to evolution, as an individual or as a species. It leads to sitting around and doing nothing. Why would anyone want to achieve any goals in life if they’re happy where they are? Unhappiness is the greatest motivator on the face of the Earth.

The problem is the vast majority of people on Earth are chasing happiness without understanding that it’s a completely unattainable goal that only exists in their minds. You’re at work. You hate your job and are unhappy. You fight for a promotion. You get the promotion. YOU ARE STILL UNHAPPY. Sound familiar? You set yourself up for failure by hinging your happiness on a promotion that could never make you happy.

Keeping in mind the Sequel Trilogy is just awful, this is the trap Star Wars fans find themselves in. Even when Star Wars is good, like The Mandalorian, they can’t stop hating on it. That’s because they always want it to live up to a standard that only exists in their minds. But the reality is Star Wars will never be enough for them, no matter what happens.

Jabba the Hutt could reach through their TV screens and start giving out hand jobs, and it still wouldn’t be enough for some fans. The only way they would be happy is if Dave Filoni looked into their minds and put whatever horrors he found inside on the screen. And doing that would only make one specific fan happy while making the rest of us very, very sad.

Fans still hope that whatever ridiculous made up theories about Star Wars in their heads will come to pass. That’s what keeps them coming back for more, even though they know it will never happen.

This is a microcosm of why humans are completely unable to be happy. We set up impossible parameters inside of our minds of what would make us happy. The vast majority of those things are impossible, so we end up miserable and unhappy.

So, if happiness is an unattainable marketing tool designed to get me to buy a new truck or watch Star Wars, what’s the point? Welcome to Reason #2.

Reason #2: Being Content is Real Happiness

Essentially, being content means that you are satisfied with who you are as a person and what you have. It means that you are pleasantly full after a nice meal, having had the exact right amount of food to eat. Now, here’s the mistake every last one of us makes.

We think being content is not being happy, and that what we perceive as happiness is better.

Because you don’t feel as happy as the actor in that truck commercial, you think you’re not happy. You’re right. You will never be as happy as that actor in that truck commercial because they are an actor in a truck commercial. They aren’t happy. They’re acting.

But you can be content. You can take a huge step back from yourself and what you think you should be to look at yourself and who you really are. Learn to appreciate that and you will be content.

That doesn’t mean you should lose your drive for more. Wanting more is an active ingredient in the human condition, one that should be nurtured and not ignored. It is on the path to being content.

It also doesn’t mean you should try to find the rainbow in a bad situation and be content with just that. If you’re in an abusive relationship, get out. Period. If your boss treats you like crap, get a new job. There is no contentment to be found in those types of situations.

The key is to strive for contentment, to work your way into a life that let’s you be you in the most positive way possible. That warm feeling is worth more than anything and you deserve it. The irony of the situation is that in true contentment you might find actual, honest to Darth Vader happiness.

All you have to do to be really happy is to let go of the idea of happiness.