interlude iv: records

Q: What do you call it when the star of TV’s Scrubs makes an embarrassing error?

A: A Zach Gaffe!

I deleted every social network but Instagram from my phone. I keep Instagram because it’s the only social network that doesn’t make the world feel like poison, and also it’s an easy way to connect with my sisters’ cats and find out what they’re up to. Everything else, Facebook, Messenger, tumblr, everything else was deleted. But I use social media to keep a complete record of who I am at any given moment in time, which includes documenting every awful thought I have. I do this so that you can make an accurate judgement of who I am as a person. This means that there is a note saved in my phone that simply says Zach Gaffe. There is no embellishment in this note. When you look through my phone’s notes, you will see the rough draft of tomorrow’s post, various outlines of scenes I want to write in the thing I’m trying to write, and the words Zach Gaffe. Today at lunch I did many things, and I am going to list two of the things I did: I skimmed the headlines of the Washington Post to get a general sense of how fucked the world is, and I decided that Zach Gaffe was a thought so remarkable I had to write it down so I could remember it later. This is who I am. Should you follow me on Medium, this is who you would be following, this person who managed to not encounter the phrase Zach Gaffe for long enough that they thought could spring into his mind as a Creative Vision He Must Share.