Of New Beginnings
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.
Christmas approached, skulking around dubiously then receded like I’d never experienced before. I was happy to see it go. I was thrilled to see 2016 end, and welcomed 2017 with open arms. There were a few factors involved, but one of them was the election result. Pretty sure it was a difficult time for literally the majority of Americans. It seemed to knock me off kilter and it’s taking some time to right myself. It will be a true effort to work to keep the kind of America I want to live in and to be able to look at the political landscape — and not cringe.
In addition to the collision of two very different Americas in November, I’ve been feeling tethered to my old life, unable to detach myself from it in some deep emotional ways. That tether used to ground me. It used to make me feel secure. Reminded me of tiny, important things. But lately, I feel like it’s kept me from flying higher. It’s not about denying it or forgetting it. It’s about freeing myself from it, putting it in my past — where it rightfully belongs. And seeing what comes next. Truly, a new beginning. And there is never a better time for new beginnings than the beginning of a new year full of hope and promise (and yes, some scary things too, but I only have so much emotional bandwidth).
I think this divisive election has reminded me — painfully so — that we need to make every day count in ways that are important to us — collectively and individually. And it’s incumbent upon us to inject as much positivity into the world as we can. For me, it’s time to evolve the theme of my blog and website — my brand — as a whole. As much as I loved Ken and the life we shared, it’s time to honor the life I have now. Because it’s fantastic. And I’m quite proud of it.
In spite of a lot of political uncertainty as an American, as a writer (and a supermodel) I’m very excited about what 2017 will bring. To that end, I’m committing to delivering more posts this year (maybe…weekly?). Bear with me, as I work to streamline my theme. But a wise friend (I have many of them) once told me. “Just write. Worry about the theme later.” 2017 is the year where I resolve to “just write.”
About more than love, loss, healing and humor.
About all kinds of things.
Originally published at the xanax diary.