Days were hectic and I guess I finally understood what it meant to change for the better. I certainly won’t miss this place anymore and I now feel the need to be better and better because I realized how deep I have pushed myself into the dark hole, not realizing that all the while I’ve been gasping for air to breathe; I just need space, to be free again. The constraints are testing me in the sense of patience and perseverance but that is life and I’ll be okay.
But I don’t quite understand people sometimes. We exaggerate our problems when in reality it is just that: A problem. People, including myself sometimes zoom in on the impossibilities rather than the possibilities of what the outcome can give us. And while solving this problem a thought came by and I can conclude that: Life is a problem we’re all solving. I know how people fail miserably in dealing with emotions and I am one of them but I need you to understand that all problems have its solutions. You just have to be diligent enough to seek them.
Somewhere in the troubles I find myself laughing away at how pathetic these problems are, but more importantly how pathetic I’ve handled them. It’s all in the mind they say, and I’ve structured my mind around pessimism and I can assure you it’s the ugliest scaffolding one can ever have as a mental model.
These past few days feel like 2010, and Saturday was great with Shafiq and Afiq treating me to a night at the museum.
The national museum is a treasure I cannot miss anymore for what it’s worth and it took us back to the days where we went out for excursions with the school, peppering each other with jokes that only us can ever understand.
As I write this I am still finding the right words to say how I truly feel but I can’t string my thoughts tightly and they keep going away and away. Thoughts and emotions are beautiful provided you mince them well with the right perspectives.
I still need to explore