Subjective Decisions We Can’t Live in Fear Of (Including, why actors fire their agents)

Zach Gray
5 min readFeb 16, 2024

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Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

As an agent, I am always looking for ways to be a better representative for actors. Some of the least fun learning opportunities come from being fired by a client. In the aftermath, you can conduct autopsies to figure out what exactly went wrong and what can be altered in the future. Reflecting on some of the reasons I’ve been fired by an actor, here are a few:

  • “I’m not getting enough auditions.”
  • “I’m getting too many auditions and I want to be more casual with my career.”
  • “I’m turning 40.”
  • “My spiritual advisor told me I should fire you.”
  • “Your company is too small. You can’t make me the star I want to be.”
  • “Your company is too big; I’m getting lost in the shuffle.”
  • “I felt like you were going to drop me anyways so I wanted to get ahead of it.”
  • “Since it’s the New Year, I decided to get some new reps.”

After a lot of reflecting, I realized that all of these reasons have two things in common: 1) They were all valid reasons to fire me from the perspective of that actor. 2) Most of these decisions and feelings were outside of my control.

You don’t hear agents talk too much about getting fired. It’s icky and no one likes getting dropped (especially an actor by their agent). So why mention these decisions at all?

Every job in the entertainment industry faces this same plight of being affected (positively or negatively) by other people’s subjective decisions. Writers will have editors cut their favorite scenes from an episode for time. Directors will have a producer override their top choice of actor. Casting Directors may not get the budget they want to be able to afford their favorite actor for the role. There are many choices made daily in every facet of the industry that have ripple effects that can alter the trajectory of one’s career. And yes, actors also live at the whim of these subjective decisions. The anxiety surrounding these decisions can lead to fear that most actors have a hard time escaping. Don’t worry, this fear of other people’s decisions affecting your career is totally normal. As an agent, I’ve experienced it too!

During the early years of my career, I lived in a constant state of fear and anxiety of getting fired by some clients. One small mistake or misstep and I’d be gone. And I felt that if I were fired, it was a reflection of who I was as a person. I began to second guess myself wondering if I was making the right call. I let other people’s decisions (and the fear of those repercussions) influence how I would make my own decisions and I felt that I was constantly trying to please as many people as possible.

Ultimately, I was hamstrung from giving the best advice I could. If I was “too much” of this to one actor, I was “not enough” of that to another actor. When I tried to anticipate what I thought an actor was looking for in an agent, there was no perfect equation that would affect a subjective decision. Sound familiar? Actors go through this whole routine after an audition trying to analyze if there was anything else they can do to read the casting director or producers’ mind and give them what they were looking for. Spoiler alert: there’s not.

It took some time, but I eventually stopped trying to overanalyze what others might be thinking. Instead of letting the fear limit me, I decided that I was going to only focus on the decisions within my own control. Others were going to make their decisions that affect me without my feelings in consideration. Rather than trying to anticipate their decisions, I needed to focus on being the best agent I could be as seen through my own eyes. Besides, living in that fear of being fired was not going to change an outcome; it was only going to make me feel bad. Confronting and subsequently managing these anxieties is how anyone finds success in this business: especially actors.

Rather than living in fear and wasting energy trying to change things outside of your control, there are three things an actor can focus on instead: 1) have solid acting training 2) be prepared for every opportunity 3) bring yourself to the role by creating the character in your own eyes.

Subjective decisions surround an actor’s career and there’s incredibly little that can be done to change that. I’ve never heard of an actor giving a great audition because they were living in a state of fear of what the casting directors/producers thought of them. The fear and anxiety helps no one and yet, it’s something every actor must face. That’s normal. The performing arts are a collaborative art form. Everyone has a part to play and their own decisions to make. Being a professional actor is an endurance test. The fear drains you. Find what fuels you as an artist and put your focus towards those behaviors. Trust yourself and do what you think is best. Let the chips fall as they may.

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Zach Gray

TV/Film agent representing actors. Chicagoan in LA. Fan of reading, Letterboxd and the Chicago Cubs. Love helping actors and all things TV/Movies!