My 12 Steps to Happiness

“Happiness is something we create, it is not something to achieve. It is a path you choose, not a destination to arrive at.”

Jurgen Appelo

I begin this article with a quote from the creator of Management 3.0. And I start by complementing it with an Instagram Stories I did a while ago:

Being happy is a decision

More precisely in November 2019. And today I realize that what I believe has everything to do with Jurgen’s phrase. So I decided to make a life balance against the 12 steps to happiness, which arose from this idea, and because I have been feeling happier and happier!

“So many of us spend our time in pursuit of happiness, yet instead of searching for it we need to find ways to live it, embrace it and implement it into our daily lives.”

Management 3.0 Website

So, let’s go!

• Thank: I think “thanks” is one of the words I have been using the most. I thank everyone for their presence, I appreciate their feedbacks, I thank them for their favors. But the truth is that I learned to be grateful for everything, and I am practicing more and more to find the gift that is in every scene in the world (believe me, every scene we witness has a gift in itself).
• Experience: I have made my life a permanent laboratory of experiments. I am always trying and facing new challenges and new ideas. I fell in love with experimentation after I started teaching the “Success and Failure” chapter of Management 3.0.
• Give: since the beginning of social isolation I have adopted a practice of going to the bakery almost every day, and I always get bread and other stuff for the members of the shared house where I live. I don’t charge anything, I don’t expect anything. I just contribute. I also tend to leave some treats for people, like a paçoca (peanut candy) in the coffee bar or some office supplies they may need. Oh! I am also on a minimalist journey, taking all the weight off of carrying material things. And I’m playing this practice mainly by donating. I’ve donated a lot of books, clothes, decorative objects, and even gadgets and electronics.

Did I say I love paçoca?

• Hike: I’ve always loved walking. In college it was great, because the campus was huge and I was walking around a lot. Nowadays this activity is filled by the daily walks with my dogs (Pingo, Mel and Sam). It is one of the great moments of my day. Sometimes I also do an extra walk at night, together with Luana.
• Help: I offered a free workshop through my Agilers company, but people still needed to pay a refundable “booking fee.” And suddenly I had a super insight: why not allocate this fee to a social project? It was then that I entered into a partnership with COVIDA — Colectividade pela Vida (Collectivity for Life), which was created to help communities affected by COVID-19. Since then, every “free” event from Agilers has all its income allocated to the project. There have been three events so far, with a total transfer of R$ 3,959.68 to the project, and the next one has already been scheduled!

• Meditate: I must confess that meditation is a weak point for me. But I have done this in two ways: my daily prayers upon waking up and before going to sleep (and throughout the day), and also in my non-judgmental exercise. In order not to judge people and facts, we need to let go of thoughts, and that is pure meditation!

• Eat well: I made a sensational partnership with my friend Sabrina Frutas (this surname “fruits” is how she is affectionately known) since I moved to São Paulo. My current diet is almost all raw and alive, consisting only of fruits and vegetables. (I’m going to make another confession. This quarantine has taken me off my feet: there’s a lot of bread around lately and it is actually me who is buying it for people every day).

• Socialize: I have never had so many pleasant meetings and lots of “family” games at the dinner table. Even the work meetings and workshops that we give for Agilers have been socialization tools. Another thing I have learned about the world: all of its scenes offer an opportunity for a relationship, and I have been trying to make the most of it!
• Exercise: at this point the only thing I am doing is walking with the dogs. Before isolation, I had started training at the Coexiste Training Center (which I will certainly return to), but surgery and isolation temporarily removed me from that. One more confession: I am a little resistant to accept online training (the Training Center adapted quickly and all their training is online!).
• Aim: this is kind of crazy to consider since I am convinced that having specific goals is an invitation to frustration. Nothing is predictable and things don’t happen exactly the way we designed it in our world these days (ie. COVID-19). So I have only one goal: to be happy and to show others that they can be happy too. All my actions are aimed at that goal (oops, another confession: not all of them are… like any human being, I still have attitudes that seek to bring some kind of suffering, but I know how to get out of them much faster now).

• Rest: since I miraculously got rid of insomnia (I was actually delivered from worries that hindered me from sleeping) I’ve been having restful nights.Of course sometimes I sleep less due to unforeseen circumstances but I always seek to rest.
• Smile: well, this is the easiest because I was born smiling. Many people know me by my smile, which is favored by my large lips. I also take advantage of all the opportunities available to practice good humor. I treat everything with a lot of humor, following meme groups, playing games and watching funny tik toks. How good it is when we laugh uncontrollably!

Of course I involved my whole household (the 5 people I share a house with) in the practicing of the path to happiness. I put the twelve steps besides our Niko Niko Calendar (I will post an article about it soon!):

And I encouraged them to report on the practicing of the 12 steps.

If you like the idea and want to get into it in order to create a happier way of living, here’s a suggestion that can be very useful.

First, create an “inventory” from the 12 steps. This first step alone can bring you a good surprise (for me it was very interesting).

You can use a spreadsheet or a Trello board where you put each of the 12 steps, an assessment of the current situation (what is already being done, how often, if it is satisfactory). Also include the desired goal you want to achieve with each step.

Finally, draw up an action plan to get there. You may even think of an action plan for every step, but I suggest that you choose only one. Make an action plan to include something new in your routine, follow it up, check the results, and when it’s OK, move to the next action plan. You can even program in Sprints!

An interesting tip for you to create new habits in your life is to use some “habit tracker” application. It will help you to follow up on routine actions, and give a little push for them to happen!

One of the students of my last 12 Steps Workshop shared that he started walking to work. He included a colleague to whom he used to give a ride halfway through in this routine. Now the two walk to work together every day. You can create ways to include these habits as a team, as a collective activity. It’s a lot of fun, and it brings people together!

Some references:

• The ideia: https://management30.com/practice/happiness-steps/
• COVIDA — Coletividade Pela Vida: https://www.instagram.com/coletividadepelavida/
• Sabrina Frutas: https://www.instagram.com/fentanessabrina/
• More delicious and healthy food: https://www.instagram.com/qjumeu/ e https://www.instagram.com/bemtivivo/
• Coexiste (they have the Online Training Center and I have learned a lot about the world with them): https://coexiste.com.br/
• My company: https://agilers.com.br/
• Our Workshops schedule: https://www.sympla.com.br/agilers
• My instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thi.brant/