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My wife hates vegetarians. They never did anything to me but I like to play along with her and joke about how sad they are and how they’re missing out. But secretly, I want to be a vegetarian.

Eating food that my wife and my mother-in-law cooks is an important part of our culture. I’ll come home early from work Thursdays to cook dinner. But every other weekday my wife does the cooking. Sundays we eat at her Mom’s.

My wife once joked, “if you ever become vegetarian, I’ll divorce you!” I laughed and said, “You don’t have to worry. They’re gonna have to pry this pig foot from my cold dead hands!” …


I am polyamorous and find it smooth and effortless to develop intimate friendships. However, how people escalate to more intertwined, domestic relationships feels completely alien to me. This is something that I think I want to try (for the sake of science! and self-knowledge), but I am not sure how ride the escalator even if I wanted to. Any perspective you have would be welcome. =)

If you’re on the relationship escalator, forming a nesting relationship can be smooth and easy. (A nesting relationship is one in which you live together, share finances, perhaps coparent, and generally participate in daily life together as a team. It’s conceptually distinct from a primary relationship — a relationship in which you are each other’s Most Important People — although nesting relationships that aren’t also primary relationships are pretty rare in my experience.) …


I have consistently evaluated my life to be worse than nonexistence over the years, something that medications and therapy haven’t fixed. This has made suicide tempting, but I have just as consistently found it out of the question. My choice is to live, but I’m demotivated and distracted from taking steps to improve my life by fantasies of finding out that I’m terminally ill. How can I let go of the unrealistic hope to die so I can focus on living?

I’m not going to try to help you make your life worth living; I assume that if therapy and medication don’t help, and you’ve also tried the other obvious things, there’s nothing I’m going to tell you that would help. …

About

Ozy Brennan

An advice column project run by Ozy of Thing of Things. Send in letters to thingofthingsadvice@gmail.com. Letters may be edited for space.