To Belong…

Think Write
Sep 4, 2018 · 2 min read

It took me close to 15 years to belong to a small town. As it turns out it is the most bizarre things that make you feel like you belong. It could be the smells so familiar or finally recognising the trees or being super excited to be on the last leg of your long journey or the baristas knowing your drink. It could be knowing how to navigate the city or just knowing how to be.

After relocating 10,000 miles away from home, I miss it like a heartache. The funny thing is I never thought it would happen. I was so ready to get my children out of the country for a few years and experience the world so the whole missing thing took me by surprise. I miss my people, I miss the silent cheers, the wiping of tears, the hugs from almost strangers. The sense of belonging came from finding my crowd, a crowd that recognized that only the moment matters and that life is hard and interesting. They were ready to hear and be heard, to lend a sympathetic ear, to fix things they could, to fight the fights I never would.

Now uprooting my life and settling down smack in the middle of expats, my mind has gone into overdrive again on not belonging. A small incident on the playground, repeating my order at the coffee shop a 100th time (dont judge, I am proud to say I am powered by caffeine) or not having someone I can call and talk to after a long day makes it that much harder.

Why is it so important for me to feel like I belong. Do I need to belong to a place? I am not sure what would it take for me to feel like I belong but things that make my day better are authentic conversations, my barista knowing my order, or having wine with my neighbour after a really really hard day.

I emailed someone about our transition recently, saying we were settling in well and they asked for the “Gory” details. The details are “Gory” indeed and in the spirit of not trivialising my problems I will say that I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been tough as hell and there were days I cried and questioned why I was doing this and missed my friends like a heartache and just needed a hug and for someone to say it will be better….I continue to march on with a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart that I will persist.

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