On Looking

This has been a season of soul searching. I see the glimmer of an answer, all sorts of answers, really. It almost feels like my center of gravity has shifted somewhat. And I am like a roly poly kids toy that you push and it always seems to come up the right way up. No matter how hard you try, the toy always lands the right way up.

I love that toy- as a child and as an adult. I like what it means to my life now. No matter what happens I will come right back up. That is a good, comforting, strong feeling. I will be fine. I can sort out my work life, my home life. I will find comfort from music, from books, from recipes, from friends. To use a cliche, when one door closes, I will knock on another one.

I visit my library whenever I can. I read many books and think about them. I dawdle on twitter, going into cul de sacs all the while thinking about how to apply it all to my changeling life. Somedays, I find part of an answer; other days- I just keep looking.

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