The Desi Grocery Store Sparks Joy
And Triggers Your Expat Elderly Parent’s Memory
Grocery shopping at your native grocery store is a great way to trigger a memory in your elderly ex-pat parent.
Besides providing a place to show off cultural competence to your American friends.
Not only that, but trips to the desi grocery store also spark joy!
And the stories that they tell you! You learn a little more about their past too!
Grocery Shopping can be fun!
I do not like grocery shopping. Naturally, it is too mundane a task as I don’t particularly like to cook.
But, I like going to the IndoPak grocery store with my mom.
A little too much.
We come back with an empty wallet but a heavy bag.
But, hey! If this saves on therapy why not?
30 years ago, there were no Indo-Pak grocery stores.
Fast forward to today. At least 5 that I can count on within driving distance from me.
So naturally, it is an outing for my mother and me, who crave this little slice of our life back home in India.
Sandwich generation tip:
Your elderly parent will be delighted with a simple trip to your native grocery store. Whether it is Baltimore, or Brisbane, looking at items from back home, triggers their memory and sparks joy!
Bandra, Mumbai in the Seventies and Eighties
I warn you that these stores live in a time capsule, which is what makes them delightful.
In fact, every time we go into one, Mom and I feel we are back in Bandra in the ’70s and ’80s.
What do I mean by this?
There are some items that you may not find in a Bandra grocery store today.
Please correct me if I am wrong. I have not been to one in a few.
Why, because Bandra is sort of the Trending Foodie Hub today, and only the latest imports — avocadoes, broccoli, asparagus reign supreme.
So, back to the grocery shop. We lovingly gazed and pondered over each item.
Food triggers fond memories
So, it was delightful to see sugarcane at the store here in Maryland.
But, Mom remembered seeing her mother drying these out on the rooftop terrace. They would peel the pods, remove the seeds and mold the tamarind into little balls to use in cooking.
Fact: Tamarind is a great preservative for meats. People used it to preserve their dishes in the days before refrigeration.
I remembered seeing the tamarind pods as a kid on the carts outside the school. Vendors would serve it with salt and chili powder in a newspaper.
It was a delightful explosion of sour, sweet, and hot.
Sugar Sweet Memory
Next, we saw the sugarcane sticks.
I saw mom’s eyes light up! I knew she was thinking about her grandmother who would buy it at the market. She recalled that Mai (my great-grandmother) would peel the sticks with her teeth!!
My great gran was a toughie who had most of her teeth at 89 when I last saw her.
We traded stories.
I remembered the ghana juice walla (sugarcane man) that stood on a corner of Turner Road, churning out chilled ghana juice with ginger.
We actually asked the shopkeeper to get one of those contraptions. I know they are available. I saw one in Jackson Heights, NYC last year.
Not sure how the FDA would react to this.
Kadak Chai — Steaming Hot and Sweet Tea
The shop had this delightful addition! This little kiosk triggered a fond vacation memory in both of us.
Our family always went to Lonavala, which was a hill station about a couple of hours from Bombay.
We would always stop at a chai stall in the foothills, where they served steaming hot and sweet tea in tiny cups.
Of course, we drank the kadak chai (strong chai) with an equally hot but spicy batata vada which is a spicy concoction of potatoes, deep fried in a thick lentil batter.
Unfortunately, this big mall has replaced that little tea stall — a sad fact of life for rural small businesses.
Small Reminders
As India welcomed international imports and improved on her packaging we saw these in the markets.
And, now they are here in my local desi grocery store. How awesome is that?!
Dessert — Last but not the Least
Mom and I decided we would bring a taste of our hosting at Mom’s Bandra flat to our townhome in Maryland.
We now serve kulfi for dessert if it is a sit-down dinner.
On average, we go to this store about once a month. It is a delicious reminder of the beloved things we left behind in India, 30 years ago.
It is also a nudge to remember that the world is indeed a small place when we can see these very things in our neighborhood desi store.
What do you see in your grocery store that reminds you of your childhood?
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