Zero Nine: What makes you happy?

Part 1 of ? / Evaluate. Destroy. Rebuild.


Back in January when Zero One, my first blog, went live on Medium, I decided to drop a new blog (more or less) every two weeks, and at that time (when I’d committed myself to doing these blogs), I had a fair idea of what made me happy. I was fresh into the New Year, I knew what my goals were for 2017, I knew what I wanted to achieve by January 2018, but maybe most of all, I knew what I wanted to change in my life to become happier, whether it be music-related or otherwise.

The terrible events in Manchester this week have forced me to reconsider a number of things, and even though I’ve been told on numerous occasions that life is short, as I get older, and as the world becomes much more of an unpredictable place, I’ve accepted that I’m no longer immune from danger and that everything can change in a second. No warning. No second chances.

I’ve spoken about legacy a number of times across my social media platforms; about how important it is to leave behind some truly epic sh!& and how striving for greatness at every given opportunity is how I go about my daily business.

Sometimes I use a smile to disguise how I REALLY feel, which I’m now aware, more than ever, isn’t fair on me and it isn’t fair on other people…

The thing is, when striving for this greatness, at what cost does it come? Sleeping four, five, six hours a day, always trying to create opportunities, the mood swings, the bad days, the writers block, being strapped for cash etc etc etc, all whilst juggling a day job. Believe me, I’m not complaining. People tell me that in order to reach my goals, “you must enjoy the journey”, the process of reaching your intended destination, and for the most part, I do, but this week’s events have posed a number of questions which I must ask myself. Are there parts of the journey which I can change, perhaps tweak or get rid of altogether? Always.

The thing is; no-one knows how long we have. No-one knows what the future holds unless we create it ourselves. To some, being happy is the ultimate goal, and I speak from experience here in that I deliberately use humour and sarcasm to make it seem like I’m happy. To mask things which are bothering me. Sometimes I use a smile to disguise how I REALLY feel, which I’m now aware (more than ever) isn’t fair on me and it isn’t fair on those around me. A problem shared and all that…

This blog post is neither a self help guide nor is it an instruction to be happy. Why would I do that? It’s your life, but constant evaluation means that you’re less likely to get stuck in a rut and be trapped by something you feel you can no longer change. What actions you take from this point forward is completely up to you, but yet again something horrific, something tragic, has made me think twice about exactly what I want, and more importantly, how I go about getting it. I can no longer spend time on things which make me unhappy and all I can suggest is that you do the same.

Love. Live. Life.

[ #PTFAD ]

Let me know your thoughts on this blog post. You can find me across the internet via my website (or search for me by typing: thisisABSORB into your favourite social media platform).

photo by Jay Dawson
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