Zero Ten: this is what it must feel like to come out of retirement

The world has changed but my focus has never waned.


I’m sat on a train heading to the capital at this present moment, as tomorrow, I’m attending Social Day UK, a social media event in north London, however, under normal circumstances, I’d usually relish this opportunity. Getting in peoples’ faces with my random snapchats and networking. Shaking hands and killing it with the awkward small talk (I can be very awkward), however, as I type this, there are lots of uncertainties flowing through my brain. I feel unsure about a lot of things. As if the next six months could shape the rest of my life. I do this. I put an insurmountable level of pressure on my shoulders which is causing my anxiety to rear it’s ugly head more so than usual. Life’s a bitch sometimes.

On the flip side, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I mean, A LOT.

The weekend just passed saw my BBC Introducing live session get aired on BBC Newcastle and my Facebook Live stream from the BBC Newcastle building (as the session was broadcast) received waaaaay more interaction, shares and overall positive vibes than I could have ever imagined. I’m not going to lie; I wasn’t expecting this and I was completely overwhelmed. It’s taken me a minute to step out of the bubble but it’s been an amazing reintroduction to any kind of meaningful music activity. Within the Facebook event page which I’d created, I uploaded a new video update every day in the week leading up to the live session and this was the catalyst. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t treating this as just ‘another’ occasion. Nick Roberts (presenter of the BBC Introducing show on BBC Newcastle) had kindly delayed the broadcast in order to accommodate my social media plans and this enabled me to get the word out and do something which had rarely been suggested nevermind undertaken.

This experience. This reintroduction. This attention. This is what it must feel like to come out of retirement (even though I’d never retired). Let’s call it an accident sabbatical. Whatever you want to call it, it feels like I’ve been away from releasing music for far too long.

Since my last official release, the world has changed. The landscape for artists has changed, the means by which we consume music has changed. Everything, pretty much, has changed. It’s now as easy as it’s ever been to stream and download music with a plethora of services to choose from; all of which are accessible from within our pockets. This means that music which I’ll be releasing this year will be available on these platforms and I’m really looking forward to mixing it up in amongst some big artists and really getting out there. Although the stresses of releasing my music are inevitable, at some point, I need to let my music go and to maybe not be so protective over it. I’ve been like this for too long. It deserves to be heard.

This experience. This reintroduction. This attention. This is what it must feel like to come out of retirement…

I’ve explained in videos and in interviews about how I’ve managed to ‘stay relevant without being relevant’ and I’m so glad that I persevered with social media. Lots of artists and bands only use it when they’ve got something to shout about but there’s a lot to be said for consistency and patience. I’ve managed to maintain a presence during this period of downtime/music inactivity in order to keep as many doors open as possible, to keep my name and the Pull That Face And Die brand active. I feel like I’m ready to go again but this time as ABSORB 2.0.

I’m on the cusp of reintroducing myself to the world. For people to embrace my new found confidence and my ability to brush off any negativity. I feel much stronger mentally. It’s been a journey but I’ve learnt a lot about myself and a lot about other people. If you’ve got a good heart, good people will gravitate towards you.

Look out world. I’m coming. This is only the beginning (again).

[ #PTFAD ]

Let me know your thoughts on this blog post. You can find me across the internet via my website (or search for me by typing: thisisABSORB into your favourite social media platform).

photo by Jay Dawson