My Life Won’t Change Overnight — But I’m Not Giving Up
Jane Harkness
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Jane Harkness !!!

2 thoughts — then a story:

  1. The title alone for this particular column is A+, perhaps the best on this site.
  2. Wonderfully written and honest. Dig.

STORY: On Monday, I woke up at 5:45 per usual, went for a run, drank 3 cups of coffee, and went to work. I could feel myself dozing off in the car, which was highly unusual for me.

I got to work around 9 and passed out at my desk, so I drank two more cups of coffee, still feeling like a zombie.

Around 11, I became deathly ill. I couldn’t breathe, my chest ached, I felt dizzy and disoriented, I was turning red and felt my stomach clench up. I left work and went to the ER.

Around 12, I took a Xanax. Then I ran though a variety of blood tests and x-rays. Eventually, around 2, the Dr came back and was like “how do you feel?” I was like “pretty good. Kinda sleepy.” The Xanax worked. It was a goddamned panic attack, precipitated by too much caffeine. I hadn’t had a panic attack in 4 years, so I’d forgotten what they felt like. I went home and slept for 10 hours, and took the next day off work and slept 10 more.

Why do I tell you this? Because according to Fitbit I’d been averaging 5 hours of sleep per night for nearly two years, and each week I’d gotten a little less sleep than the week before. That’s when I realized “perhaps I should, and could, sleep better.”

So I cut out caffeine as a first step. We’ll see if that helps. We can move to more drastic measures if things do not improve.

Wishing you good luck in your journey to catch zzzzz. Always enjoy reading you. Be well!

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