I want to be normal

I don’t want to feel this ache anymore

I don’t want to dread life

Don’t want to be traumatized

Don’t want to miss him

I want to sleep the whole night

I want to feel safe

I don’t want to fear for my safety

or for that of my family

I want to picture a future

With all my family members in the frame

I don’t want to identify with anyone who’s lost a loved one

I don’t want to constantly see my mother crying in agony

I don’t want the look of devastation on my father’s face

or hear it in his words

I want to picture a less bleak future

A less helpless life

I don’t want to be another person

That’s lost her brother