Physical compatibility / chemistry is an important part of a relationship, but it’s no more important than the intellectual, emotional and spiritual dimensions and it’s also arguably the quickest/easiest one — and you don’t need to test it by going all the way, it pretty much works the same for everyone, so keeping it for later on makes a lot of sense
I’ve never heard of this as being “a rule”.
Coenraad Loubser

People have varying values around sex. For me, sexual compatibility is extremely important so it is vital that I establish we have that early on. “Chemistry” does not ensure sexual compatibility so for me, you do have to go “all the way”. I would not become “infatuated” by someone I wasn’t having really good sex with. Sure, for that level of connection, other components are necessary too, but for me, without a high level of sexual compatibility, it will never go anywhere. Yes, we could have all the other boxes ticked, but I don’t want a life partner who I don’t “click” with in the bedroom. I don’t want to learn to click. Would you prefer to spend x amount of time with me, “getting” me and having me “get” you, only to be told that you don’t satisfy me in bed and so it is over?

You may now argue that would make me a bad person, but it wouldn’t. No more than it being over because I feel we have other mismatched values, or you aren’t emotionally supportive, or kind, or adventurous. Neither of us are bad people, just incompatible when it comes to what we value most.

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