Rolling the Dice When It’s Life or Death
Every step we take in this life is moving us toward a certain outcome, and yet, we needlessly leave all to chance when we lack preparation for uncertain situations. In the event that we have to think fast and deal with a flurry of information, fear, adrenaline, and a determined attacker, continuing in ignorance of self-defense leaves us walking through life with one strategy: spinning the wheel and praying it lands on black.
We would never leave major decisions, like who we are to marry, what car we are to drive, or what house we are going to live, in up to the luck of the draw. We make deliberate, cautious, and thoughtful choices based on data that we have collected ahead of time. And yet, so many of us are leaving that most important conflict — the battle for survival with an assailant — up to the toss of a coin.
Heads up, we face physical injury but win, and tails up, we face permanent damage and lose.
Even if you’re a gambling man or woman, it’s doubtful you’ll come away flush. This is especially true when fear is a driving motivator fueled by a lack of insight and training. Your 50/50 shot just became a losing hand, and you choose to fold in disgrace instead of playing your cards. Worst still is that the assailant is holding a weak hand but is bluffing that he has a royal flush, and you believe him.
Instead, he is holding a pair of kings, not knowing your hand is a trio of aces. It’s just up to you to use them.
Load the Dice in Your Favor
There are no guarantees in this world, but it’s better to even the score as much as possible before going into the arena. Think about this: in your mind, in fantasies and daydreams, the man has become as much a monster as a machine who is capable of anything. You’ve done more than half the work for him when you make him into an indomitable force of nature.
The truth is you strip him of his dominance when you build yourself into someone who wields just as much power as he does. Decide ahead of time what makes him tick, and make it true of yourself. What works for him also works for you. The reasons he is bound to win are same the reasons you are.
He has the desire to inflict pain, and so do you. He has no inclination of stopping, and neither do you. He is the cause and not the outcome, and you are the same. You are not on the defensive but are on the offensive.
You will be as an actor reading from the playbook of another. You will strike to injure, and those wounds will render him helpless. You will scrape him off your windshield when push comes to shove. The idea that you can leave unscathed and also without hurting another is not grounded in reality.
Both people get hurt in a fight.
He is not going to walk away, diffused as if a bomb whose wires have been snipped, and slink quietly into the night. Put simply, this is a struggle where someone will possibly die. There is no G-rated version of this scenario. Acknowledge that you must defeat him or be defeated.
Nobody is immune to the effects of violence, and your enemy knows this full well. He has as much to fear from you as you do from him. You both exist in your frail humanity and are susceptible to woundedness and failure. You take a risk either way, so make it a calculated one and load your dice.