Why kindness is its own reward

thomas.j.bao.12
Jul 24, 2017 · 2 min read

Recent research shows that when people act out of good intentions, their brain lights up in positive ways. In FMRI scans, kindness in the brain looks similar to eating chocolate (and there’s no calories!).

So we’re wired to derive satisfaction and joy from good intentions. Conversely, bad intentions don’t feel very good.

But I’ve observed several other benefits from being kind.

The bible says, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.”

Interestingly enough, I’ve found the way you treat others is the way you treat yourself. If you’re judgmental towards others, you’ll be judgmental towards yourself.

It may very well have to do with the way our brain is wired. Though we distinguish between ourselves and others, we reuse a lot of the same circuitry when thinking about ourselves and others.

When we fail to exercise compassion towards someone, and instead exercise its far enemy, hate, or near enemy, pity, how will we feel when we find ourselves in a similar position? Instead of practicing self-compassion, we’ll inflict self-hate or self-pity, or risk serious cognitive dissonance.

I particularly like the way the poet Hafiz puts it:

With That Moon Language

Admit something.

Everyone you see, you say to them
“Love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud:
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this,
This great pull in us
To connect.

Why not become the one
Who lives with a full moon in each eye
That is always saying,

With that sweet moon
Language,

What every other eye in this world
Is dying to
Hear.

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