7 Things to Do When You Lose Your Hair Before 25 Years Old.
I was taking a shower when it happened for the first time, and I noticed a lot of hairs remained on my hands as I was washing them.
I didn’t pay much attention to it the first time.
It took a few showers noticing the large number of lost hairs on my hands to start worrying.
That’s when I cried. I was 22 years old.
During the next days, I spent hours reading all I could on internet to find an explanation and something to do about it.
Food supplements, expensive products, therapies, etc. I found many solutions, and tried to hang to some sort of hope for weeks.
One day, I sent this message to my dad: “When did you start losing your hair?”
He replied: “I am not sure, but it was in my early twenties.”
That was it: genetic.
I kept reading stuff on internet for weeks, but it’s after a few months that I really realised I was seriously losing my hair.
It’s when I turned 23 that people started noticing it: “Haha, I can see your calvitie, be careful.”. This, and other stuff guys say to other guys about hair loss.
That’s when it became real to me.
Starting from there, I went through a bunch of steps and realisations, until I make it to this picture I took a few hours ago to practice for the first time with my new lights and green screen (cf. the cover picture of this post).
#1 Accepting it
A ton of men are losing their hair in their twenties. And the “hair loss industry” is growing at the same time as us men are losing confidence.
I decided to not being part of it.
I rejected pretty early the idea of slowing down the process, or doing expensive therapies do grow hair again.
The outcome would be the same, just delayed.
So I accepted it.
It doesn’t mean I was feeling any happy about it, or directly felt the big advantages that this hair loss would have in the future.
I said to myself: “Ok, you are losing your hair. This is happening. And you will have to live with it. It doesn’t make you any worse than anyone else. It’s just a bunch of follicles anyway. How should this define who you are?”
It was still hard, but I knew I was on the way to feel better about it.
#2 Hiding it
Even when I accepted the idea that I was losing my hair, I still felt like hiding it at some point.
I accepted that the process was happening.
But accepting how I looked like with my baby face with teenager face hair, and yet already losing my actual hair was another story.
I tried to “balance” my hair cut, hide the calvitie, or even let them grow longer to “fill the blank”.
In the end, I quickly realised that the way to go was to adopt a shorter haircut to reduce the contrast between “hair” and “less hair”.
#3 Shaving it
I am 26 now, and it took me until I turn 25 to actually cross the next step and shave the whole thing.
It was a compulsive idea, as I was cutting my hair myself (I used to do that since I traveled by bicycle).
As some point, I looked at the hair clipper, and decided to take off the clipper guard, just to see how it would look to shave the side of my head.
Not bad. I ended up shaving all of my head.
Of course, I was a bit shocked when I saw myself in the mirror without and hair on my head. But it was better than I expected.
Still, I was worried/scared about how people would react after seeing me without any hair.
#4 No one really gives a shit
Among the people I knew from before, probably 50% of them didn’t even say anything. It didn’t feel like they even notice it.
The other 50% was a mix of “haha, you shaved your hair? Looks cool”, “Wow, you look more mature like that!” and “I preferred before, but it looks alright like this as well”.
Great lesson for my ego, and great news for everyone else: no one really gives a shit about your hairstyle.
People have more important problems in their life, and if you are fine with having your hair shaved, people will be fine with that as well.
#5 A lot of women actually like it better
I know it sounds like the most minor thing ever, but hair is a seduction tool.
And trying to be desired by the opposite sex is something natural for both men and women.
Trust me, I definitely looked better with 100% of my hairs.
No doubt at all.
However, since I shaved my hair, I feel like the effect is polarising.
Those who don’t like it really dont.
Those who do like it really do.
And a lot of women actually seem to like it, for a reason I am not sure I can explain yet.
I have a theory though: having hair is just being part of the norm, and losing them is kind of seen as a looser/weak guy thing.
However, when you shave them, you take action, and affirm yourself.
And this is an “alpha” kind of stuff.
Ok, it probably makes zero sense, and I have no idea why, but being shaved and looking more mature actually serves me more than when I was cute but looked way younger than my age.
#6 About self confidence
My theory above was a bit random, but there is actually some truth in it.
It takes a lot to accept how you look like without hair, when you spend 20+ years of your life recognising yourself in the mirror with your usual haircut.
I spent a while feeling weird when meeting other people.
But as you realise that no one cares, and because you took action to use a deficiency (hair loss) into taking action and looking different than the majority, then you start growing a different form of self-confidence.
I don’t look “cute” anymore, but eventually I kind of look like a man now (even if I can’t grow any sort of decent beard).
It’s the process of accepting the whole thing that help growing self-confidence in the end, instead of hairs.
#7 Random thoughts
I know there are a lot of ways to grow hairs again now, and I started to look into them. But I chose not to do it.
Why? Because of the long term benefits of accepting to lose them and look bald for the rest of my life.
It took months of feeling weird and not confident at all in the first place. Months of repeating to myself “come on, it’s just hair, why do you even care?”.
I even went once to the clinic to start a therapy where they take your blood and inject the plasma part in the scalp. It was painful and annoying, and I stopped it after the first session even if I subscribed for 3.
This event was the last one thing I needed to achieve to convince me to just shave it and live with it.
I know there are way more important problems in the world than the 20% of the males losing their hair at an early age.
For some, it’s easy to accept it and move on.
For others, it becomes an obsession.
We don’t talk enough about this topic, maybe because males are supposed to be strong and stuff.
But it’s an important issue, and people who start to have a calvities are often mocked/ridiculed in different ways, and won’t really show how much it hurts.
Some of us have a strong ego, and that’s when we can be broken the most.
When the gap between our ego telling us to pretend we don’t care, and how much we actually are suffering from it, becomes too big.
And broken people don’t really do any good in the world.
Let’s talk about it if you want.