This is the classic sin of idolatry: if the Bible says what I want it to say, I’m not worshiping God, but an idol, a creature of my own making. If I’m abusing my partner, and have an even vaguely uncomfortable feeling about it, what better way to get rid of it than to quote the Bible? Not, of course, “love your neighbor as yourself” or “serve one another” or anything like that repeated over and over, but those (3) controversial passages in Paul that even Biblical scholars have a hard time with. Attending church occasionally allows to to continue to claim the mantle “Christian” without actually absorbing enough to curb my “zeal” for the “Word”. As usual, the solution to bad theology is not atheology, but good theology. Pastors spend far more energy on a weekly basis on nominally or barely Christian people than they do fighting the godless heathen.