Five Genuine Questions For Advocates of Same-Sex Marriage
When hearing about the Supreme Justice’s decision re: same-sex marriage, I didn’t feel joy (“love wins”) nor anger (“what’s happening?”). I also don’t have any unique thoughts that add anything new to the discussion — but I do have questions.
These questions are not meant to be rhetorical or condescending. Nor are they the most important questions to raise. But they are the questions that I personally have. And I’m not looking for answers filled with emotional rhetoric or long essays that show me how smart you are. I am honestly just still looking for calm, simple, logical answers to the following:
1. Doesn’t Same-Sex Marriage Open Doors For Other Types of Marriages?
The main argument I keep hearing from same-sex advocates is that we should let autonomous individuals participate in this basic human right of marriage. Or as one person coined, “Marriage is about love, not gender.” But doesn’t this reasoning open doors for say polygamy & incestuous unions?
I really don’t see how same-sex advocates get around this nor have I heard a satisfying reply. When the Supreme Court raised this issue, it was simply dismissed as something that wouldn’t likely happen. But if it did get raised, aren’t we setting ourselves up for it?
2. Why Does Disagreeing On This Issue Make Someone a Bigot?
The narrative that the culture has created re: anyone against same-sex marriage is astounding. I’m seriously amazed at the monopoly the media has on this topic. Basically, if you disagree with same-sex marriage, there’s no discussion — only a lecture on how you’re a bigot.
This is astounding because I thought the hallmark of liberal-thinking is to be open-minded about diverse viewpoints. But why is the door shut on anyone who disagrees with this issue — especially since historically (as the gif below shows) its development has occurred so recently & rapidly?
3. Why Is A Person’s Sexual Orientation the Superlative In Life?
I remember hearing (here) about a wife who wrote an article lamenting how her husband left her & their children for another man. People responded to her in the comment section & vilified her (not the husband’s abandonment) for criticizing his actions. Their reasoning? “He’s expressing his sexual orientation.”
I genuinely wonder: Why is one’s sexual orientation the ultimate identity that defines a person? More than being a spouse, parent, child — it seems that every identity marker & institution is supposed to bow down to sexual orientation. But I’m actually really curious why people believe this to be so.
4. What Do We Say to History?
I found what Chief Justice John Roberts said about history to be very intriguing. Though most advocates of same sex-marriage say conservatives are blinded by “the times” (i.e. we can’t see injustices until hindsight), Roberts notes how prideful it can be to blind ourselves to history.
He said this because historically, no civilization has ever survived the collapse of the traditional family. I guess I wonder what advocates say in response to this? I wonder because I feel like the whole “get with the times” argument presumes that we live in an age where we are now truly enlightened about sexuality & marriage. But looking around, I can’t help but question this.
5. How Do Professing Christians Reconcile Their Advocacy With Their Faith?
To be honest, I wasn’t that surprised by the Supreme Court’s decision — this seemed to be the trajectory of where they were going. What I was surprised by was seeing the amount of self-professing Christians changing their profile pictures to a multi-color palette in support of same-sex marriage.
I don’t know how to initiate without engaging in a contentious debate, but I really want to ask my Christian friends how they reconcile same-sex marriage with their Christian faith. Perhaps they’ve researched their bibles or read stuff from Matthew Vines. However — and I may be wrong — I get the sense many Christians are simply following the cultural tides influenced by buzzfeed, yahoo & celebrities.
Again, these are not the most important questions out there re: this topic. But these are my questions and I haven’t heard a satisfying answer to any of them. I only hear emotionally charged answers (“how dare you…”) or overly simplistic, fluffy ones (“Jesus is about love”). I do hope though that questions like these can be opportunities for civil dialogue rather than contentious debates.
Originally published at www.tom-talks.org on June 29, 2015.