the Slippery Slope: Session 3 — Hubris Cometh Before Fall

Thomas Jacque
Jul 10, 2017 · 2 min read
A proud peacock

There were more of us tonight. The first time I’ve been to a meeting this full. But that’s not saying much, this was only the third.

I missed out the past couple of sessions for a couple of reasons; I was busy, tired and quite confident. Yet again. I was still battling my sexual addiction day in day out, but I was yet again riding a high because of a change in my atmosphere. I did not think of myself as any better without the meeting, I just allowed myself to believe that I could function as well without them. That was my rookie mistake.

The weekend came and as it left, it took along my sobriety with it. In my new found faux-confidence, I indulged myself. This was a slowly trickling in effect. It started off early in the week with mild fantasies, slowly chatting up past flames to tease and assess, and it culminated with me at step zero. Barely past the 2 week mark and I had fallen.

Despite labeling the blog as “the slippery slope”, I forgot to take my own words into caution and drove myself down the hill at full speed. Needless to say I was mangled, broken and injured. The weekend passed by in a flurry of abeyance, physical and emotional.

And today, Day 3 was a long arduous one. I nearly cried during my turn at the table. My voice heavy with guilt and shame. Shame for having broken my vow and guilt at newfound understanding of my damage to the love of my life. The love that I have now lost.

And I do not hope to get it back. Hope is not the right word. I do hope to but being realistic, I do not think it will happen. The water is far too muddled by my actions. Getting back to me would mean to turn her back on everyone that has been that for her, and I do not think I am that worthy. Especially since I was the one that brought upon her.

Anyway, I digress.

3 days down, forever more to go.


This is a blog that I am starting to catalog and share my experience as a recovering sex addict in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Clearly, the profile that I am functioning under is an alias to maintain anonymity. I will never mention any participants by name nor mention the affiliation that holds the support group.

My idea with this series to give a first hand look into sexual addiction & its recovery process.

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