How to Build a Beautiful Wall
President #45 wanders the halls of the White House in his gold PJs talking to himself.
45: Donald J. Trump told the people, my people, that Trump is going to build an impenetrable wall, so there is going to be a big beautiful wall if it is the last thing Trump does. Nobody is helping Trump keeps Trump’s number one promise! SAD!
Spicer: Mr. President.
45: Will you help Trump build his Southern border wall?
Spicer: Was my suit OK today at the press briefing? Did my face turn red enough? I know you prefer my face to turn scarlet because it’s associated with the blood of Christ and the Christian martyrs, and with sacrifice.
45: You didn’t mention Trump’s Wall today. I’ve got no time for you, Spicer. Go away. Trump is very busy.
Steven Miller: Mr. President.
45: Get out of Trump’s sight. On TV, they called you a skull with a patch of hair and Morning Joe doesn’t like you. A skull can’t be Trump’s spokesman. Trump is the master of marketing and branding. Trump saw someone say that on TV, so it is 100% true. Believe me.
VP Pence: Mr. President.
45: PENCE! They made Trump choose you. What do you say about Trump’s Wall? Are you helping Trump build the wall?
VP Pence: Congress will have to find the money and offset the spending. Speaker Ryan and I are deficit hawks and we don’t want to blow up the National Debt…
45: STOP!! Trump is the King of Debt. Trump will make an excellent deal to finance Trump’s wall and then stiff all the contractors. Trump will make El Chapo pay for it. You and everyone else are trying to get Trump off course. BYE BYE!
President #45 stops in front of a TV.
TV Psychologist: There are several subtypes of Delusion Disorder and the grandiose subtype involves a person’s conviction of importance and uniqueness and the person believes they possess some extraordinary powers or abilities.
President #45 changes the channel and walks away.
45: Fake News! They are not talking about Trump. It must be time for Trump to start tweeting.
Bannon: Mr. President.
45: Bannon. Will you help Trump build his most beautiful, tall, impenetrable Southern border wall?
Bannon: Have you heard of the saying: Killing two birds with one stone?
45: Those ugly offshore windmills at my golf course in Scotland are killing lots of birds and are ruining the view. I’m suing Scotland you know.
Bannon: Mr. President… Back to the wall. I have written a new Executive Order for you to sign. Comprehensive Immigration Reform — It says that all of the illegals who want to stay in America will be sent south and are required to sign up for the Wall Building Conservation Corp — WBCC. Old, young, men, women, mothers, grandmothers, kids and everyone who’s on the new mass deportation list. Once the wall is complete, they will get a Green Card. No path to citizenship of course. We don’t need any more voters.
45: Can Trump build the wall out of coal?