My experience as a panhandler
Up until very recently, I was a panhandler in the downtown eastside of Vancouver, BC. I wasn’t homeless or hungry, I just needed money for beer and cigarettes. I would stand on the median of Main and Terminal, just underneath Main Street SkyTrain station as well as other places.
One time, I took a different median knowing full well somebody else panhandled there. He assaulted me. I called the police. He got arrested and charged. One thing about panhandling is the people who do it are very territorial of where they beg for money.
I was a very successful panhandler. One day I made my way to the median and stood in it. As I walked down the median a driver rolled down the window and handed me a $100 bill after being there for just two minutes. I couldn’t believe it. I thanked the driver and went and bought an A&W burger. I spent the rest on my vices.
Another time I stood at the highway exit at Grandview and Boundary. I was collecting a dollar here and two dollars there. I stood there for about 10 minutes and somebody gave me a quarter ounce of marijuana. Honestly, I was looking for beer money, so I pocketed the weed, thanked the driver and continued to stand there. I got my beer and cigarettes' money and left. The marijuana I got was pretty good dope.
Here’s what I learned about being a panhandler: contrary to popular belief it is hard work. I got many looks from people implying that I shouldn’t be out there. Other people would roll up their windows as I walked by their car. Others said nasty things to me like “get a job” as they passed by. It was emotionally taxing.
From my experience living in that part of town, let me tell you, the people out there legitimately can’t find work. Sure, it’s because they’re addicted to drugs (or alcohol in my case) but addiction is tough. Your body’s physiology changed and you become physically depended on the drug.
As I type this, I am now in a treatment centre and I have been sober for three months. Before, I was eagerly awaiting the day it was my turn on the waitlist to get a bed at the centre. Since being here, I have learned a lot about addiction. I have learned how to identify my triggers, how to stop a thought from becoming a craving, as well as find other activities to do besides drink. The treatment centre I am at is also a psychiatric facility and since being here I have got back on medication for my mental health issues.
Looking back now, I understand where the dirty looks I got come from. Most people know panhandlers spend the money they receive on drugs. I was no exception. While I didn’t use hard drugs, I was addicted to alcohol. I’m glad I finally got help. I have accomplished so much in the last three months. Now that I am sober, I can build websites. A co-client wants me to build a website for him. All in all I am dong way better.
I am now working hard towards building a bright future for myself. I am advancing my programming skills and I am looking for work. My plan is to build an income by buying index funds and rely on the dividends for my source of income. I will continue to work hard to remain sober.
So in summary, sure most panhandlers want drug money. While most don’t want to stop using, some of them wish they could quit. When I am wealthy, I might consider giving a panhandler $100 even if I knew they would buy drugs with it. I bought alcohol with the $100 I got. Now that I broke my addiction, I can look forward towards a bright future.
