I offer you hugs for your experiences, for it is all I have to offer you.
My own co-parenting story is vastly different from yours.
My son from a previous relationship lives with me full time. His birth mother rarely has anything to do with him.
Of my five step children, Eldest has moved out and is living her own life. I am proud of her, but she no longer needs a strong dad figure anymore. I am more a friend than father. But she is happy to be thought of as my daughter, and my son as her brother.
Miss 14 did a great deal to help ruin the relationship between me and her mother. She does not want me to be her father in any way shape or form. I will respect her wishes.
My miss 12 and miss 10 stay with me every weekend. They love and need their Dadda in their lives. Their mum and I agreed that I could have them stay with me Friday and Saturday nights. I can message them daily and call sometimes. I am not really expected to be involved in their schooling and their activities whilst with her. Nor am I expected to pay child support.
Finally, Master 8, he has decided that he wants alternate weekends. He likes hanging out with the new boyfriend, who buys stuff and has the cool gadgets, and takes him fishing. I accept that is his choice though I do miss him a great deal.
Their mum moved an hour and a half’s drive away from where I live, which makes things more difficult for me to be involved during the week. That was her choice and I have had no say in the kids schooling or other activities. But I am there for the step children that need me in their lives and I give them the quality time they need in the short period they live with me for.
So as I said, I cant offer you more than hugs as our experiences are vastly different.