54. What’s to learn from a doctor with great bedside manner?

My family’s “family doctor” is my uncle. I’m not sure he ever signed up for the role. But, man, he does it well. He is straightforward. He delivers his opinions with fantastic clarity. He speaks in plain English but scatters in science as appropriate. He looks you straight in the eye. He smiles. When the situation calls for it, he cracks a well-timed joke.

I remember vividly the time that he made a house visit to my 90-year-old grandmother (not his mother but my other grandmother). She was very sick and needed an IV but refused to go to the hospital. He swung by his office and picked up the appropriate equipment. By the time he was done, while she had protested, she was practically smiling. It was awesome.

I admire doctors big time. There is a certain dedication-to-craft that characterizes great doctors. They take pride in developing deep knowledge, in the fine motor skills and fitness of delivering treatment, in the great service that they can provide if they do their jobs well. The best are not just great craftspeople though… They’re great relationship builders.

We could all probably learn from doctors with good bedside manner:

1. They listen first. They don’t take pleasure in the sound of their own voice. They probe and are patient. They are comfortable with silences. If they are in a rush, they don’t let you feel it.
2. They treat people with respect. A doctor could easily talk down to most of us. In few environments is the knowledge gap between client and service provider so large. But doctors with good bedside manner have a knack for simplifying things without patronizing.
3. They care. It’s amazing that after years of seeing patients doctors are not more guarded and fatigued in their interactions. The good ones seem to honestly care about the well-being of their patients. They invest themselves and make themselves slightly vulnerable. In return, patients feel more comfortable doing the same.