For me this has been a most perspicacious topic! I’m a political analyst and have recently been thinking along these same lines. Only I’m not writing about couples, I’m writing about politics. In America we are headed toward a divorce and it is chiefly the result of the very phenomenon you have described in your article.
Think about the way you feel about your political opponents. Isn’t our political discourse “contentious — with each partner defining the other as “wrong” in their beliefs or behavior — then those beliefs and behaviors harden into stories of fixed ideas and intolerance.”
We’ve each created (or accepted) a narrative that shaped our worldview, our priorities, and therefore our politics. If we as Americans could heed your recommendations:
1) learn our own filters
2) call a truce
3) create a new story that includes both sides
We might recognize that our commonality far exceeds our differences. More importantly we might accept that we are stronger together and that through compromise we can accomplish so much more.