The Art of Helping
There are three kinds of people out there… the givers, the takers and the matchers. The givers are the people who help everyone no matter the person or their own needs, expecting nothing in return. The takers are those who take from the givers for their own gain with no remorse. Finally, the matchers, they match what people give to them, if someone helps them they will help them back, if someone takes advantage of them, they take right back, a matter of tit for tat.
So, what really pays off?
If these people were put on a spectrum to measure the success that goes along with the type of person they are, you would expect that the nice guy would finish last, but this isn’t always true. Research shows that givers are at the bottom on the spectrum, but they are also on the top. For this reason, there’s two types of givers, the person who gives everything they have to people and get taken advantage of by the takers and the other givers, who are adored by everyone for the exact reason of their gratitude and the feeling of being forever indebted to them.
You may be wondering who are these givers and how do they succeed in such a greedy world. Well, it’s because they don’t go overboard. Research has shown that people are happier and thus less stressful when they ensure that their altruistic behaviour does not get in the way of their own achievements. But that’s not all the goes into being successful, they also have matchers on their side. Matchers play an important role in the sense that they exploit takers. They believe the good should be rewarded and the bad should be punished, with matchers on their side, givers can feel safer and relax from the fear of being exploited.
This finally comes to the issue of happiness. Those jerks I mentioned earlier who get all the rewards and promotions turn out to be the unhappiest with their lives out of everyone. Studies have found that ethical people are the happiest with the outcome of their lives, they have a stable well-being compared to the people who cheat for their success. The moral of the story is by not helping, or trusting other in your community it can lead to huge voids of happiness that could easily be filled by the gratitude the givers and the matchers possess.
Sometimes success and happiness are all people want in life, so do the nice guys really finish last? Well the stress of being a powerless nice guy can actually give you a heart attack, but in hindsight the good do not die young. Research shows the people who gave more actually lived longer. If that doesn’t motivate you to be a better person, I don’t know what will.