My father and cancer.
I wish it was a nightmare. I wish I could wake up to find out it’s not real and everything is okay. These what comes to my mind when I’m trying to sleep.
Those few hours when I try to escape from reality.
Every thought comes to my mind.
Maybe I’m dreaming. Maybe I don’t deserve a happy life like normal people.
- Why I can’t live a normal life?
- Why I have been suffering my whole life?
I want to escape.
Please someone helps me!
Help me please!
- Crying crying crying crying
Everything will be okay I should do something useful than crying.
- I am weak!
- I need him!
- I don’t want to lose him.
- I’m afraid!
- I don’t want to be alone.
- Please I need you to hear me. To hear what I can’t tell you.
- I’m fine and everything is going to be fine..
Does God hates me?
- I don’t want to hear him feeling the pain anymore. It tortures me.
- Crying crying crying crying crying
I don’t want to cry anymore.
- Dear God thank you for everything.
But can you hear me?
- Maybe my life will be always like this.
No! It won’t I deserve a good life.
- I want everything to change.
- My mind is going to explode.
- I feel so much pain. And I need someone to hear me.
Trying to escape from your life. When you are not even useful to anyone. When you can’t do anything to the people you love. When you see them in pain. A few months ago he was healthy. We were finally a normal family. It happened again. Feeling pain is here again. I’m crying at night. In my room. Like I always did.
I’m so young to deal with this.
I’m so selfish! I only think of myself.
I feel bad because I’m feeling pain.
I don’t deserve anything.
I can’t get close to him. There is something between us. I just want to escape from this pain. I can’t handle it. These thoughts. These feelings I need them to stop.