Tinder for dummies — Part III

I hope so far, people who have read my post have found it of some amusement and interest. The reason I am doing this is mainly because I think that as Tinder goes fully mainstream, there are people out there who will get on it and perhaps feel slightly challenged on how to approach it. In this post I am going to stress on anything and everything that I missed out in previous parts.

- As a guy, you have to take the initiative and ask the girl out to meet. But then there are always girls who will suggest that before you get a chance (Take it as a good sign ☺)

- When speaking to someone don’t be too eager. Try not suggesting plans on a Friday night (at least not at the start. Most people have plans on Friday nights and if you don’t, then it sends out the wrong signal. Well even if you don’t then pretend you have one. Like everything else in this world, Tinder dating works on image and perceptions.

- Now don’t be a dick and assume that just because the girl has agreed to meet you for a drink, it means that she is going to go home with you. A lot of women have told me, that they have been taken aback by the ‘my place or yours’ line just an hour into the first meeting. Even if they have it on their minds, women usually like a more subtle approach.

- Be ready to experience the Instagram vs reality phenomenon. More often than not, the pretty or handsome looking person you saw on the app will turn out to be quite different from the pics. Try and keep a poker face if that happens, and bolt after a drink if what you see is really something you don’t like.

- Nervousness shows, so try to hide it as best as you can, even if you are nervous.

- Pick a place depending on the target audience. Guys, pick something she is comfortable with. (If there are no strong signs of you know what, then don’t suggest something right next door to where you live)

- If you aren't European or a wannabe French, then a simple handshake will suffice when you first meet the person. I have asked around on what different people do when they meet someone on a first date and it really depends on where each person comes from. I would suggest, stick to what you think is appropriate. If the date goes really well then a good hug perhaps will be a good idea.

- If you happen to see someone’s profile, that you know is already with someone, then best to just steer away. No point in liking your colleague’s girlfriend or telling them that their girlfriend or wife is on tinder. Unless you are close friends and you feel duty bound to make them aware.

- Similarly what do you do if you come across a colleague you work with on Tinder? That is a tricky one — chances are that the other person has seen you too. If you know that the other person is single and available, and the organisation doesn't frown up inter-office dating then go for it!

- On a similar note, what do you do when you run across a person you have seen on Tinder at a bar or a cafe? And read ‘just seen’ and not matched or chatted with. I don’t have any firm thoughts on this right now — would be interested to know what other people think. (If the time and place is appropriate then maybe initiating a conversation wouldn't be such a bad idea, but do you start with ‘Hey I saw you on tinder’? I don’t know..!)

- On a technical note, if you have experienced, getting a match/message notification but can’t find anything actually there, then don’t fret. It’s quite common. Try to uninstall and re-install the app. If that doesn't work then forget about it and move on.