When there are two kids have the same problems in the same time, that is the time when I learn how they regulate theirselves and how adults help them as the co-regulators.

What I saw was not all of us as an adult who is expected to have good self regulator can be a co-regulator for the kid. Not all of us could handle the panic that comes, shows an empathy and choose the words to delivered wisely. Sometimes we choose the word to encourage the kid but end up in the other way. Or maybe we try to give them support by tell the story about the same problem that happened to us but turns into worse scenario.

Dear Adult,

It’s not the time to tell any story of yours because is not a competition who is worst and who is better.

The kids is suffering and maybe this is the first time for them to experience it so bear with them.

Don’t over talk because mostly words are not needed. When you raise your tone, you make it worse because their anxiety level is also raised.

Regulate yourself first when you want to be co-regulator for others. Better to leave it to others than pretend that you can but you can’t.

For the last, please just be there and bear with all the craziness that comes to the kids because that is what they needed even though they won’t say it.