Freak Out

I am afraid of worms, close to phobia. It happened since I was a kid. What I remember is one of my classmates in elementary school made fun of me when he found out about it. He run after me while bring a rubber band that looks like a worm and I am totally freaked out.

Do you know when you afraid of something the chances you meet with what you afraid off is increased? That what happened to me in one early morning when I cleaned up my bathroom and found worms under the mat. I was frozen! It’s never been just worm, it’s a big giant anaconda that will eat me alive.

When I saw there was a worm on my toe I was screaming and ran out the bathroom with eyes closed then successfully hit the wall. I was totally frightened. My heart beat raised, hyperventilated and my body was shaking. I was in panic attack. Unfortunately no one there and I am not even close to able to regulate myself.

Then I just sit on a chair and couldn’t think about what should I do. I literally need someone as my co-regulator.

It took around 30 minutes for me doing nothing than trying to regulate myself and what should I do next. I still need to use bathroom and also move the mat without touching it so that won’t be happen again. I take a glass of water and drink, doing some breathing exercises and last thing that I do is shaking my body like zebra did every time it was running from cheetah. I try to move from frightening to social engagement but it’s not really help without another person. I still shaking when I come to the school. Sigh…. What a strange thing to start a day.

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